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How do you figure out other women when it comes to friendship?

I have always had a very difficult time maintaining friendships with women. One of the reasons was based upon my looks but it's not all that. It seems like I make a female friend and they are alway so freaking high maintenance. They are moody, change their mind, inconsistent, unreliable, etc.. I just don't get it. I didn't have much in terms of family so I really value friendship.

Every time I have a female friend, I take their behavior personally and I start questioning myself. I have a really hard time trusting women. I've learned to not even bother asking what their problem is because usually it's a waste of time.

Most recently, I had a friend who is having a hard time in her marriage. She's really moody now and takes it out on me. I don't want to put up with the crap. I'm really down about this.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:27 PM on Nov. 23, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Sounds like me. Looks have something to do with it. I had a friend that if her hubby would come along in our car pool, she would make excuses to make me stay home, not enough room. But then I'd go with someone else and she was only with her hubby. Just really high schoolish stuff. Or get jealous and start telling you that they are so busy and so tired as if you don't have anything to do cuz I am a sahm. I've worked my whole life and that has to be the most condescending thing tht anyone can say to a sahm.Or just hypochondriac comment that they are always sick.
    jareda69

    Answer by jareda69 at 7:39 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • You really can't,unless you guys have been friends for awhile like over 3 or 5years... we are emotional ppl and sometimes our homones are off balance
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:34 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • You need to find girlfriends who share your low maintenance view on life. I like you have issues maintaining friendships with a lot of women. I have a few really close girlfriends who are more like guys who wear bras and makeup and thats all I really need
    humaniterian87

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 7:35 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Such is why I limit my female friends. They will drive ya nuts! I have mostly online female friends. For some reason I can deal with that but real life ones seem to annoy me or disappoint me or stab me in the back. Not a good thing.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:38 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • thats why im not friends with chicks neither i dont even have guy friends hahaha
    im a lonely person i guess,
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:39 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • I'm the original poster.

    Thank God other people get this! I have always been the girl you love to hate. God has blessed me in many ways for which I am grateful. I do however wish I could find female friends who are as good of a friend as I am. I know allot of women settle fro friends who ditch them, stab them in the back, etc.. They just figure it's part and parcell of being a female. I just can't settle for that. I'm way too sensitive.

    I am honestly not a jealous person so I don't even understand that concept. My husband says most of this stuff is based upon jealousy. I'd thought when I got older it would get better but it only seems worse.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:48 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • perhaps its you who has put the limits on the friendships..sounds like you think pretty high of yourself, and expect others to be grateful you include them in your little circle. its been said 'in order to have a friend, you have to be one.' (personally, i've never had much use for 'girls' who thought they were all that. the women i've been friends with showed their true beauty by being real friends, and there was never any jealously involved.)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:02 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Again, I'm the original poster.

    Anon. That was a pretty judgemental comment considering you know nothing about me. I am a very good friend and a good person. I know that for sure. I'm also pretty certain that being "nice" is the very thing that gets me into trouble.

    Sadly, I think it's people who think like you that cause me the most grief.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:12 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Female friends are the best. I like guy friends, too, but girl friends you can tell anything to, where I guy just wouldn't understand. Girl friends will do anything to help you out when you need it. I am wondering if you just aren't encountering the kind of lady friends that you are compatible with- take some classes, do volunteer work, participate in religious groups, find friends that have similar backgrounds and interests.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:13 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • sorry if i spoke what was obvious. no, i have nothing to go on other than what you wrote. "one reason being my looks'' and then you listed things you find fault with in other women whom you've befriended. (apparently, they aren't measuring up to your standard of what you think a gf should be.) you also said you have a recent friend who's having marital problems, is moody and you feel she's taking it out on you(perhaps she's trying to get some feedback from you?), and you "don't want to put up with that crap." like i said, to have a friend, be one. life isn't all roses..sometimes there is actual crap that comes up in other's lives. how would you feel if the tables were turned, and one of your 'friends' didn't feel you were worth their time? all said, get new friends, honey.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:22 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

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