Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I deal with my In-Laws??

My husbands mom and step dad keep giving me a hard time because I don't let them take my daughter over the weekend as much as I let my own mom. I can't help the fact I trust my mother more. I know that She keeps my daughter on the same eating/nap schedule that we have at home. I don't know how to make it clear to them that if Alexis does not get her naps, even though she is perfectly happy for them she id a total Monster when she comes home. Any advice would be awesome.

Answer Question
 
lexismommy418

Asked by lexismommy418 at 12:44 PM on Mar. 13, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 3 (19 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • You don't deal with the your Husband should. Try telling them that while you understand they might not have raised their own children that way, having a clear schedule is very important to you. Tell them that you will be happy to give them the opportunity to try following your established schedule again in hopes of increasing the time she spends with them. Hope that helps.
    Kimedbs

    Answer by Kimedbs at 12:47 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Stick to your guns. I was in the same situation BUT what made it easier was that my mom was home while my MIL worked and she didn't put up too much of a fight because she was pretty tired on the weekends. Still, there were times I had to give her my reasons for not letting her keep my kids - she fed them crap, she refused to put them down for naps (which they desperately needed), she smoked in front of them, she basically refused to listen to anything I told her. She couldn't abide by my rules so tough, she couldn't keep them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:47 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Tell them exactly WHY they dont get her so often. Tell them if they will follow your schedule youd be happy to let her go more, but if she keeps coming back as a monster because of the disruption to her schedule they will get her even less or never. Kids NEED ....REALLY NEED a set schedule in their lives.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 12:49 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • I don't understand why your in-laws can't register why your routine is so important. If it were me, I'd tell them if they can't respect your routine and the downside to what happens after failing to stick to that routine, then the only quality time they'll be having with your daughter is under your roof. In my opinion, it's not that hard to comprehend. I don't believe in throwing a little one off a routine, that she's use to. Plus, I really can't stand it when people go against a mother's wishes. Sometimes it's very hard to get your child's schedule where you want it to be.

    LanaisSky96

    Answer by LanaisSky96 at 12:54 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • I would let the know why she isn't coming over as much and then stick with it. She is your child and you set the rules. My inlaws were the same way with my kids and thought I was the monster because I would not let them have drinks too late (so they didn't wet the bed) or coffee with breakfast (hello - they were 2 and 6!).
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 1:18 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • I would explain and explain when my kids were young....I finally said, because I'm the mama and I say so....and I let them be mad....acting mad is a way of manipulating and if you don't let it work, usually people will quit doing it....also, if they want to walk away from my life, I let them....
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 1:33 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • You just tell them you deal with your parents and have already told them why you arent comfortable and anything else they should bring up with their son.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:35 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Thanks for all the input! I will try talking to these people again but really I think the only solution would be to cut off their overnight visits all together. They have lied to me about her care before.
    lexismommy418

    Comment by lexismommy418 (original poster) at 4:41 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.