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5 Bumps

Fil makes me uncomfortable

He's so touchy with my niece who's 13 he rubs her back has her sit on his lap tickles her etc. She's to old for. That and she's told me she doesn't like it but if doesn't listen when she tells him no. How can I confront this issue? It makes me nervous to have my kids around him

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Heidikans

Asked by Heidikans at 1:09 PM on Mar. 13, 2011 in Just for Fun

Level 20 (8,357 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Have you told the girl's mother that she has said this? As a parent, the only thing you can do is keep your kids away from your FIL - there isn't much you can do to alter his behavior.
    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 1:12 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • If it were me I would start giving her a way out. If he starts I would invite her to do something in the other room to help get her away from him. I would also talk with her mom, and keep my own kids at a safe distance.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 1:14 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • This isn't something where you can avoid anyone being uncomfortable. You are just going to have to walk right in and do it.Tell your FIL how it makes her uncomfortable and ask him to stop. I'd also be telling the mom what's going on here and what her daughter told you. That is innapropriate. And someone needs to protect that child. When girls at that age should be protecting their personal boundaries, they shouldn't be made to feel guilty about doing so.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:15 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Tell her to be firm that she doesn't like it and walk away and go to adults who she is comfortable with. Watch your children carefully and say what you need to, calmly and firmly, when necessary.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 1:23 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • I would call him on it when hes doing it and ask him "Isnt she too old for you?" or something like that.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:38 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • You need to talk to him about it. Don't let this go as something that's uncomfortable for you to speak of, because it's making her uncomfortable. It needs to be addressed. Take him aside privately and talk to him about it. Letting him know that she has expressed multiple times that she doesn't want him to do those things. Then explain how you too feel that it's not appropriate behavior.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 2:42 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

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