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For mother's who had a child or children that was in control of them,...i'm desperate for help

My DD is 2, and she walks over top of me. I try so hard not to let it happen, but she has a way of ''getting under my skin'' and I just give in. The only thing I haven't gave in to is giving her a lollipop, because she only gets on if she goes on the potty. She doesn't listen, i've tried the whole time out in the chair for a certain amount, but she always gets up and I don't have the patience to just keep putting her back every minute. I can't take away a certain toy, because she has no interest in her toys. I need to keep her active, maybe that will help with her behavior. I need help,...I can't keep letting her control me. My youngest LO is 1, what can I do now to help prevent same pattern of behavior?

 

Also, she will NOT eat her food I make her, but she will for someone else! And nap time is a disaster, she screams and fights not to be put in her bed.

 
knicole0708

Asked by knicole0708 at 1:22 PM on Mar. 13, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 23 (17,012 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Set some rules, boundries and consequences and STICK TO THEM. It may hard at first but be consistent and you should see some changes soon.
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 1:25 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • The biggest reason people give up on time out is because they won't keep taking the child back to the chair. It needs to be done over and over. But having said that, I took away whatever THE most important thing was to my kids as discipline. Each child has that most important thing and it isn't necessarily a toy, but can be an activity, a food, whatever. Be consistent and stay calm. It can all be done with caring and love. Get a handle on it now so everyone is happier. Browse through some good books on discipline also. And make sure she gets one on one time with you and your SO so she knows she is special and loved. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 1:28 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Your lack of patience with her feeds her control. She knows if she throws a big enough fit you are going to give her her way. You have to stop the cycle. I know how frustrating it is to put a child back in a tiime out chair 30 times. I've been threre. If there is any hope of you getting the upper hand you have to suck it up and be firm. Put her back in the chair as many times as it takes until she's been there two minutes. Once she sees her fits aren't working anymore they will stop. It WILL get worse before it gets better. If you stick it out you will all be better off in the end.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:28 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • There is no SO, it's just me, a single mother of two girls. I know I created this situation, I wasn't looking to be bashed, i'm looking for HELP!
    knicole0708

    Comment by knicole0708 (original poster) at 1:33 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • I just made them do wha I wanted them to do.. If they would not eat their lunch. I would go in the trash and they would not eat tell dinner. And only water for a drink. If naps are that much of a trouble, don't do naps.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:34 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • It will get better, just be consistent.....A good book to get is scream-free parenting.....also, if you are a single mom, find a way to give yourself regular breaks away from your kids so that you can de-stress...It's important to make this a priority...best wishes mama, I feel for you!
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 1:40 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • You say she gets a lollipop everytime she uses the potty, right? Let's say she potty's 5 times, is it 5 lollipops for the day? That could be why she's not eating. Too much sugar can also cause behavior problems. I don't know if thats the case I'm just throwing it out there. Also, kids go through phases on eating. Relax, be consistant with your rules, and stick to them. It's not easy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • I have raised some really challenging and strong-willed children and the old saying it is the terrible twos goes beyond saying. My now 16 year old son was my worse and I struggled with the "time-out" chair, taking things away ect. Taking things away from a 2 year old is really not practical as they still have short attention spans but also it teaches them that the one thing they treasure has no value to his/her parent. For my son I set up the pack-n-play in a corner of our family room and placed a few toys in it for time out. Instead of fighting me he would play quietly for 15 to 20 minutes after throwing his tantrum and then I would get him out and play with him one on one. Over time the trantrums became fewer and I replaced the pack-n-play for a small table and chair with paper on it for him to color on. I say choose your battles and find what works. My youngest is 7 and she hates time out but a book in time out works.
    mynameismom56

    Answer by mynameismom56 at 1:47 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • You just need t o buckle down and stick to it. If you're punishing her by putting her in time out and she gets up, put her back in time out. The reason the 2 year old is in control is because you are allowing her to gain it by not sticking to any form of discipline. Once you break your bad habits (giving up on time outs because you lack patience) she will start to give up hers(because she'll know Mommy is serious and she can no longer get away with it). It starts with YOU!
    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 1:47 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Anon - i'm only starting that out, it won't be one lollipop for EVERy time she goes, just something to encourage her. Besides, she hasn't even gone, AT ALL, so she hasn't even got ONE lolli yet. We just started yesterday, for the 3rd attempt. She will eat if my mom ''feeds her'' ... as in giving her, her food, but me,....nope! ''/ im confused.
    knicole0708

    Comment by knicole0708 (original poster) at 1:48 PM on Mar. 13, 2011