Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Curious......

At what age did you feel that your daughter was too old to have their father give them a bath??

I had DH stop giving our daughter a bath when she turned 4, I know this is going to sound crazy to most mothers but I had a...situation...with my stepfather when I was growing up and it had made me EXTREMELY cautious when it comes to my own daughter. I trust my husband completly but....I guess unless a person had been molested by someone they loved and trusted then they wouldnt understand my position....

Anyways my question: The doctor has recently decided that it would be best for me to be on full bedrest until our son is born in June which means that I'm going to need DH's help around the house for awhile...including giving our daughter a bath, she pretty much cleans herself but she still has to be supervised...at what age do you think your daughter is too old for her father to be the one to do this?

 
Lucky209

Asked by Lucky209 at 1:46 PM on Mar. 13, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 28 (35,060 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I don't know personally about being molested as a child, but I can definately understand where you're coming from. It kind of sets back trust with ANYONE after you've been treated in such a manner. However, with your current situation I think that you're either going to have to make an exception to sit in there with her or you're going to have to put faith in your husband and trust him. Honestly, I think you should put faith in him to do it, just to help you understand that not all men are going to take wrongful advantage of a child. I figure that in your head you realize that, but obviously in your heart you're still cautious. It might help you come to terms with knowing that your husband is one of the good guys and will respect and never harm your child. I think this step will be good for you.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 2:34 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Technically never? My ex dh helped our dd after she had our grandson, he even helped her in the delivery room (hes a paramedic) and got a full view of things he even said he didnt "want" to see, but as a dad you do what you have to. I had surgery some months back and my dh bathed our dd. She was 5. Its what dads do. They help out when they have to and theres nothing sexual about it.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:50 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • So you can't just sit in the bathroom with her? Or you are just going to have to trust him, temporarily.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:50 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Im gonna let my SO give my daughter baths until he feels uncomfortable with it. Your situation is understandable and no for what happened to you it doesn't sound crazy. Just how If i have a little boy I am gonna have to have My SO change his bum. when i was younger my cousin touched me in inapropriate ways and for some reason changing little boys bugs the crud out of me. Good luck with everything momma.
    JordonMichelle

    Answer by JordonMichelle at 1:52 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • I dont KNOW were your coming from but i completly understand. I was raised by my dad, he potty trained me and everything i feel if the child can take a bath by themselves then dad doesnt need to be in there.
    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 1:50 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • I guess unless you've gone through some negative sexual experience it's not understandable...I completely trust my hubby giving our daughter (2 1/2) a bath.. does that mean DH should never change her diaper?? I know your daughter is 4, but when they're younger what's the difference?? Maybe some counseling is needed so it doesn't ruin DH and DD's relationship.???
    calliesmommie

    Answer by calliesmommie at 1:54 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • My dh still sometimes bathes dd, and she's 5. Personally, I'll allow it to continue until either DD or DH is uncomfortable with it.
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 1:58 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Granted, I have never been your shoes. If my child needs a bath then my husband can give her/him a bath. He can sit on the side of the tub while she bathes herself or you can teach her to shower so, you don't have to worry about her drowning as much. Good luck.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 1:58 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • I say as long as you trust your hubby, then he should be able to be trusted to give DD a bath as long as HE feels comfortable doing so. I was molested by my cousin (female), for the longest time I would not go around her, now we have a good relationship, as I put it in the past, and it happened when we were both young. your DH is a different man than your SF, just have to keep telling yourself that. i agree with counseling, for the sake of yours and dh's marriage, and dd's and dh's relationship.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • He's her father, either you trust him or you don't. I was touched inappropriately as a child by my step grandfather and I do not allow that to dictate my life. If I can't trust my childrens father to do something as simple as bathe them then why be with him?
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 7:16 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN