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Am I handling this alright? (might be a grandma again)

Well my son who says he doesnt want kids has a gf and he called me today asking for a pregnancy test. I had to really get him to tell me it was for his gf and I asked to talk to her. He wouldnt let me. Anyway finally he did and I explained I was willing to get the test for her, and then take her to the doctor if she needs a ride etc. She seemed pretty greatful, she already has a little boy and is a single mom.

My son has pretty much always enjoyed being single and having different gf's all the time. I told him Id be there in an hour with the tests and to meet her. I got there and he and two of his friends (I know them both well they grew up at my house basically lol) were waiting outside and my son said she wasnt home and to take him to his place to get some clothes. I said wth? He had gotten into an argument with her and said it probably wasnt even his. I talked to him and he knows it is his baby and I told him under no circumstances is he walking away from his responsibility & that I planned to make sure the gf knew regardless she can come to me for whatever she needs. Basically either way hes on the hook & will be involved because I will be.
He is supposed to be calling me in a few to come over because she will be home by then. She is a little demanding lol. I heard her tell my son any money he gets from me he should get used to using on diapers and such. He was huffing & puffing but I told him she was pretty much right. So am I handling this alright? I love my son, but I am not going to get this girl feel like shes not accepted into our family.


Asked by gemgem at 2:27 PM on Mar. 13, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 42 (148,630 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I think you are doing great! You are a great mother, and one day your son is going to see that. I bet his gf already does :) Kudos to you for stepping up and getting your son to step up as well. More grandmas should be like you!

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 2:34 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • You ideas are right. But it sounds too new and uncertain to make any huge declarations. You have said what you have and they know where you stand. Now back up and try and let them work this through.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 2:32 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Go mama! I only wish there were more like you.

    Answer by camiam81 at 2:43 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Yes, you are!

    Answer by older at 3:02 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • He is scared. Why else would he call you for a pregnancy test.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 2:33 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Oh I know he is and I told him I knew he was in uncharted territory but that he also should know we would be there to help 110% like we did with his sister.

    Comment by gemgem (original poster) at 2:34 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Thanks ladies. I just dont want to seem too pushy or anything.

    Comment by gemgem (original poster) at 3:03 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • I could never imagine calling my mom for a pregnancy test or to take me to the dr! I took care of all that myself and then my DH and I waited until after we heard the heart beat before we surprised our parents with the news! I mean, it's nice that they can rely on you, but I think they are relying on you too much. How old are they? They must be young...that is my guess?! Bravo to you though for making him own up to his responsibility. We tried to make my brother's prego gf feel welcomed into our family and all we all got was screwed by her in the end. I hope this doesn't happen to you. She thought my mom was too overbearing and that my brother relied on my mom too much. I can see her point, but we did all we could to make her feel welcome and all we got in return is that she's brainwashed the kids into hating us. (Yes, kids, b/c one accidental pregnancy wasn't enough to scare them into being more careful!)

    Answer by MommyH2 at 3:22 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • My sons 18 (19 in May) so he is young-ish. My kids know regardless of how old they are or anything else I will be there for them 110% of time for whatever they need. They also know they can come to me for anything, which is why he called me. I was a single mom with the oldest 3, so I was mom & dad, it made for a different relationship then most moms have with their sons I think.

    Comment by gemgem (original poster) at 3:25 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • i was there for my son for through it all found yr later the child was not his the look of lost in his eyes was more painful
    he was great with the child to bad her mother had not taught her daughter any thing ,

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 5:01 PM on Mar. 13, 2011