Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I have five kids ages 4-14 my 11 year old is giving me problems, everything form not obeying me to when i try to diciplne her she got DFCS after us for abuse and drugs,which were false but now i;m almost afraid to discipilne her!What do i do??

My daughter is very immature for her age, she has a slight learning disability and has been know to make things up and tell outrageous stories,but now like i said it's getting bad

Answer Question
 
amy252

Asked by amy252 at 7:59 PM on Nov. 23, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • NEXT TIME THIS HAPPENS CALL THE POLICE TO GIVE YOUR CHILD A SCARE AND A LESSON THE POLICE WILL TELL YOUR CHILDREN THAT PARENTS ARE ALLOWED TO DISCIPLINE THERE CHILDREN. AND YOU BROUGHT THEM INTO THE WORLD SO RAISE AS BEST AS YOU CAN WHILE THEY ARE YOUNG.
    MS.AVON1

    Answer by MS.AVON1 at 8:05 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • It sounds like the entire family could benefit from family therapy. It is my belief that the "problem" is never just one person or child in the family. If one person needs help then the entire family needs help. My suggestion would be to have some outside assistance for your family. Children (or adults for that matter) do not do things for the hec of it. There is a reason. So her actions have a reason behind them. She may or may not understand why she is doing the things that she is doing - but it is very drastic to call social services. At the minimum I would guess your daughter is very unhappy if not living with depression. Her actions speak of a desparate need to call attention to some family dynamic that isn't working well for her.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:44 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • I agree but I also know kids who in order to NOT get disciplined or dont like the way the fact that they are in trouble WILL CALL DYFUS to get back at the parents. My mom has encountered a LOT of kids that do that (she's a CPS worker). She's also a therapist and some of her clients have done that. She sd majority of the time, there is a problem, BUT that does not excuse the wrong doing, that she did. She needs to be disciplined DO NOT LET UP ON THAT. Also contact the police and DYFUS before hand, and let them know of her actions. They will also let her know, that in the future if something does happen FOR REAL, there is a chance DYFUS and Police wont take her seriously. My mom had 3 cases like that, and the child got in trouble for that. Let her know that, and that you will not stop disciplining her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • i feel for u.. my 12 yr. daughter is acting the same way.. i've asked for help also. and needless to say none of the problems have been solved. i wish we had a crystal ball to get the answer but we don't.. people have wrote and said it gets better, i sure hope it does fast. it sounds like u have your hands full. take her to the dr. talk to him and school . i don't know what the problem is these days most parents try to work and do whats right and all they get is a slap in the face.. Good luck will keep u in prays also.. maybe some type of sunday school programs would help too!
    DJJOJO

    Answer by DJJOJO at 12:33 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • when I was that age alot of stuff was going on with me. I was being molested and nobody knew. Try talking to her maybe she's getting bullied at school or something bad is happenning to her. Maybe share some experiences about yourself to her and how hard it is to read her mind. Therapy would be a good idea maybe mommy and daughter therapy. My daughters sometimes act up because they need that attention from me and they're just not getting that one on one since I have other things to do and I'm very busy. Have a heart ot heart with her. Go on a walk just you and her. Get to the root of the issue and work from there. Good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Do forms of dicipline that DCHS does allow! Time outs, withholding stuff, etc, are great ways. Always tell her you love her, and document in a diary/journal your fears of her threats of abuse, and document every time she's like that, and what forms of dicipline you do. Also, if a case worker was assigned, call him/her, and see if some counseling is available for your daughter. In a way, that's almost enough punishment for some teens, but you'll get a little help, and she might also. A caseworker would much rather do that than to investigate false charges!
    sizesmith

    Answer by sizesmith at 10:28 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Have you thought about a Girl's Ranch? As a temporary measure, so that she would be grateful to be at home?
    RanchWifeandMom

    Answer by RanchWifeandMom at 1:08 AM on Dec. 16, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN