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I think my mom..

is hooked on opiates again.. she is supposed to be coming for Thanksgiving from VA we are in MA. My sister said she found small white pills in a ciggarette sullafane. I'm sad because we just patche dup our relationship.. should I cancel Thanksgiving?

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Asked by AmFam5 at 8:41 PM on Nov. 23, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • I wouldn't cancel thanksgiving, but I would certainly bring it up while you are home. I know that puts strain on the day, but it sounds like she is an addict and if you and your sister are there to bring it up and hold her accountable, maybe she wont be as likely to lie about it or try to cover it up.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 8:44 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • I would call her and remind her that you want her in your life and you want your children to know their grandmother healthy and sober/clean. Tell her you don't want to offend her, and you know she already knows this, but in no way can she bring any type of drugs in your home. Explain that you want to work on your relationship with her but it begins by having some rules. Trust takes time and she has to earn that - even if she is your mother. She knows ahead of time that it won't be tolerated in your house. If she does have any drugs on her that she is abusing then you and your husband need to descreetly (not infront of your kids) tell her she needs to stay somewhere else. That you are just not comfortable with that actvity around your children.

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:07 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • ditto to frogdawg's advice

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:33 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • yes, i agree as well. You cannot have her bringing drugs into ur home. Your first priority is with ur children, and then with ur mother. You and your sis could try together to get her some help, either at THanksgiving(given she agrees to come drug free and talk about it) or after (if she freaks out and doesnt come) GOOD LUCK!!!!

    Answer by Sexy_Mama82 at 9:54 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Frogdawg had great advice! I've dealt with this with my family too. The person involved knows that I will not tolerate drugs of any kind in my home, and same with someone on drugs. The problem was a prescription one too. It's difficult sometimes, but you have to stick to what you believe in. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to pm me!

    Answer by mom2XandZ at 11:03 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Sorry sweetheart. I know it is rough to have someone on opiates. They seem to never give them up. Good luck. You can't change her or stop her. Nobody quits unless they choose to. Sorry you have to go through it.

    Answer by Love-Mommy at 1:33 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

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