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I feel so horrible...

I hardly ever drink, but I have quite a tolerance. Last night, for a special occasion, me and my DH went out and I had just a few drinks- less than it normally takes me to get drunk. When we got home, my MIL brought my DD home to us. Now, I remember coming home and not being super drunk. But my DH had to work the next morning, so after about an hour of dealing with our DD, he handed her off to me and went to bed. The last thing I remember is feeding her a bottle. (Of expressed milk) I don't know how I got so drunk. I started taking anti-depressants a few weeks ago, could that be the reason? I woke up about 4 hours into sleep by my DH yelling "Where's the baby?!?" I went out to the living room and found her lying on the floor asleep. I have no idea how this happened and no idea of how I got so wasted.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Nov. 23, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (27)
  • (con't) I am a very good mother. I breastfeed, I am prompt to attend to her, we play, I am extremely good to her and would never allow something like this to happen. I feel horrible. In fact, I hate myself. I feel like the worst mother in the world. I feel so guilty, all I've been able to do today was cry.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • (con't) I am so thankful that nothing happened to her, but I can't stop crying at what could have happened. Has anything like this ever happened to any other well-meaning, good mothers? My DH admitted he was mad at me, but didn't express his anger because he knows how genuinely awful I feel.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:53 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • The only thing to do is say that you are not going to drink anymore.. I would feel the same as you, but just know that now you will do everything in your power to remain focused on her care and less on your enjoyment. You will prove to yourself again that you are a Great mom!
    AmFam5

    Answer by AmFam5 at 8:55 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • It could have been the combo of the meds and the alcohol. I just wouldn't do it again. I have been so tired that I don't remember anything. It doesn't make you a bad mom. Just learn from your experience and move on and just be the best mom that you know how to be.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 8:56 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • ooh yes, i have messed up by falling asleep while feeding my son.. we alll have messed up somewhere along the line, no ones perfect!
    AmFam5

    Answer by AmFam5 at 8:57 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Question Asker -----> I'm not going to swear off alcohol, because I am not a drunk and feel that I deserve to have a glass of wine or something here or there. But I am definitely going to try to monitor my drunkness a little better, since starting these meds. In my young years, I drank A LOT, and NEVER got drunk to the point where I didn't remember something. We had been at a concert, and my DH, who drank less than me, had the worst (TWO day) hangover he's ever had, and I've seen him drink much more than that. I'm almost wondering if there was something wrong with our drinks, but I think that may just be my way of trying to justify things.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:59 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Yes I would say it was because of the anti depressants. I remember one night I was so tired and my son was hungry in the middle of the night. I remember getting him the bottle and putting it in his mouth but that is all I remember. When I woke up he was at the VERY END of my bed. If I would have moved my legs I would have kicked him onto the floor! I felt horrible as well and cried for a long time.
    You know how I knew I was still a good mommy? Because I was crying. Would a bad mommy feel so much guilt?
    imtheonlysane1

    Answer by imtheonlysane1 at 9:00 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Oh honey dont beat yourself up so much. Yes antidepressants can severely inetnsify the effects of alcohol. I also notice ever since I got pregnant and had a baby I am much more sensitive to depressant type substances (alcohol nyquil vicoden etc) I myself am an awesome mother. I have a 10 week old baby with some pretty special needs and I am commended often how well he is developing and even advancing past his where he should be developmentally for his age. My son experiences colic liek symptoms every night between 10pm and 6 am. Seriously it's like he is a totally different baby. Last night I couldnt take it anymore. I, the awesome mom, called my awesome mom and I beleive my exact words were "I need someone to come deal with this baby before I beat the hell out of him"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • cont God I felt awful for being mad at my baby who cant control himself but even supermoms are human and we all make mistakes. Your husband doesnt relaly have a right to be mad at you. He is the parent too and if you were truly that hammered he should have done something about it. Dont you love how daddies like to wash their hands of the not so fun part of babies? Dont beat yourself up over this hun. Just make the changes you need to make and move on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Girl, don't be so hard on yourself. You had the good sense to put your baby on the floor even when you were out of it. That tells me right there you are a good mother who loves her child. Stop beating yourself up over this.
    You didn't knowing do anything to harm your child. You put your baby on the floor and went to bed, in many countries babies sleep on the floor.

    You are a better mother than you think you are. Get off the anti-depressants, they are doing nothing but screwing you up! You baby will be just fine and so will you.
    Works4Mom.com

    Answer by Works4Mom.com at 9:06 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

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