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What sort of rules do you have for your teen?

I am the proud guardian of a 16-year-old girl. I've never had any kids before, but I have taught in school before, but I still have no clue how to do this! What are some good basic rules for teens? Like curfew? Homework rules? Computer? Television? Grades? Anything else important that I should know...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Mar. 13, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • Being consistent helps when you set the rules.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:01 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • First of all, congrats on taking in a teen! You're brave!- lol- jk- I think it would be best to know what expectations you have of her concerning her grades/homework habits. Maybe help her work out a schedule for after school, & a chore list for daily & weekly chores. Curfews should be pretty early on school nights (9-10pm) & maybe midnight on weekends. Of course, all homework & chores need to be done first. If her grades are good, encourage her to get a part time job to earn her own spending money. My computer is in a central location in the house, so I can just pop in any time they are on the computer. My son got a lap top for HS graduation, and that's the 1st time we've had a computer in their room. I hope she appreciates that you've taken her in & abides whatever rules & expectations you have asked of her. Kids needs consistency & boundaries, along w/ love & guidance. GL! :)
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 9:49 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • I will give you an example of the rules we have for our 14, almost 15 yr old son.

    He doesn't go out at night alone with friends, there's always an adult present.
    He's allowed to have a girlfriend, but see's her only with parents around.
    He's allowed 30 minutes at a time on the computer if he's sharing it with his Brothers, if they aren't home then he's allowed longer, but he's always monitored because it's in the front room where we are.
    He can call his girlfriend on the phone and talk no more than 2 hours, and not past 9pm on school nights.
    He will NOT have a cell phone until he has a part time job, and can help with the bill, and that's not until he's 16. If he's not working then he won't have a need for one because he won't be driving... His grades have to be a B average in order to drive, no questions asked.
    He does chores, take out trash, his laundry to the wash room, clean his room, cut grass, weed eat.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:03 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • No alcohol, no drugs, no cigarettes, no steroids.

    Chores.

    Has to abide by curfew. Even so, this does not mean he can be out every nite (unless he's scheduled to work). He gets 1-2 nites out a week only.

    Homework/school come first.

    Pay for his own cell phone, gas, car insurance, car maintenance/repairs.

    Limited gaming system time (only on weekends after homework/chores done).
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:07 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • WOW THATS HARD TO TELL SOMEONE ELSE HOW TO RAISE A CHILD MY DAUGHTER IS 17 AND SHE HAS 2 OTHER SISTERS I DIDNT DO TOO WELL WITH MY FIRST 2 BUT STEPH I WAS ALOT HARDER ON SHE DONT DO DRUGS OR HAVE A BOYFRIEND YET ! I AM HER FRIEND , AND I TOLD HER SHE CANT NOT DEPEND ON ANYONE BUT HERSELF TO SUPPORT HER AND IF SHE DONT GRADUATE HOW WILL SHE GET A CAREER , HER CURFEW IS NO LATER THE 10 UNLESS WITH A FAMILY MEM GRADE MEAN THE WORLD NO GD GRADES NO CAREER
    frances693

    Answer by frances693 at 11:42 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Rules for teenagers all depend on the teenager. Yes, consistency is a must, but what works for one child won't necessarily work for another.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 11:53 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Whatever you decide you should be comfortable with all rules and always feel like your child is safe. Put her safety before her happiness. Look at these sites and make an informed decision based on what is right for you!


    http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/family/teens/teen-discipline-rules-2


    http://www.teenswithproblems.com/familyrules.html


    http://life.familyeducation.com/teen/discipline/39353.html


    http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Parenting_Towards_Independence_Setting_Rules_for_Teenagers.html

    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 12:53 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I have three rules in my house that pretty much encompass everything. Be Safe, Stay In Touch and Show Respect.
    It pretty much covers the gammet of things, and its a way for them to earn my trust. If they stray from these three rules, they have to start over.
    The one thing that works for us as far as punishment is to take away freedom. As teens children are trying to find themselves, looking for more independence but also need continued guidance and boundaries.
    It's hard to say what rules you should have her follow, because each child is different. My rules for my 16 yr old are different than the rules for my soon to be 13 yr old, and they will be probably forever because they are very different children and require unique guidance.
    I'd suggest the book "7 Things Your Teenager Won't Tell You: And How to Talk About Them Anyway" It was a really great book on how to talk to and deal with teens.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 1:47 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • We have standard rules and they are posted on the fridge. It has cur phew times, basic rules of conduct, acceptable grades, dating rules etc. Next to it we have a list of consequences for the rules when broken. It makes life easier.
    At 16 they are expected in no later then 10pm on weeknights, that includes for work. They arent allowed to skip school if I find out they get grounded for 2 weeks from everything. If they back talk me they get their cell taken for a day, then 3 days, then one week. They can work as long as they maintain good grades. if they plan to date I have to meet the dates (this includes my sons).
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:48 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • My husband and I were put in charge of the care of his 16yo cousin over the summer. We had no idea what we were doing so we just went by what we thought our parents should have done LOL. Our small town has a curfew so of course he had to abide by that, call home if he was going to be late. We limited the amount of time he could see his girlfriend out of school to once per weekend so he could concentrate on his school work if need be. It seemed to work well since he's had better grades while living with us than he did while staying with his parents :D
    jspenny2705

    Answer by jspenny2705 at 1:50 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

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