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3 Bumps

Would it kind of annoy you ?

My sister in law ( my husband's brother's wife ) has a nanny for her 2 kids ( 2 and almost 4 years old ) . She actually use to have one that lived with them, but then BIL said that he wasn't comfortable paying that much anymore, so now she just has the one come during the day Monday - Friday.... She is a stay at home mom. She also has a house keeper that comes 3 times a week ( and also for "special occasions"...

Since we are sister in laws and we live pretty close, we are friends and we see each other often. BUT she is becoming so annoying to me. She constantly complains about how stressed she is, how she has so much to do, and she never gets a break ( she literally said she never gets a break), it is like an ongoing thing of her complaining...

I think it annoys me because I too am a stay at home mom, BUT my kids are with me pretty much 24/7 ( I go somewhere without them maybe 3 times a month), and yet I am still able to clean my big house everyday, I can still workout, visit with friends, go shopping, and take care of my husband and our several animals ( we have a large rescue farm ) ... i don't even remember the last time I was able to go to the bathroom by myself... I think I should be the one complaining - NOT the one trying to "talk her off the ledge"

I mean I know she loves her kids, but it just does annoy me that she talks about how good she is with her kids, but yet spends so little time with them that she doesnt even know how to watch them or control them ( when they visit I am the one basically watching them while she sips on some wine ) .. and then she complains how she cant freaking get a break.....

I am nice and I have never been "confrontational" (sp) ... but I seriously think I am close to just smacking her and saying " you get a massage almost everyday, you get your hair done atleast 3 times a week, you dont have to cook, clean or even watch your own children, what the heck are you complaining about" ....

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:13 PM on Mar. 13, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (12)
  • Kind of? Oh heck no. It would annoy the bloody he** out of me. Ugh, that kind of "mom" makes me sick.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • See if it were me, I'd come right out and ask.. "what the hell do you have to be stressed about?" you are joking right? You do this this and that while someone else takes care of your kids and home? Stressed? Seriously? Am i missing something? lol I'd ask her for sure. Then I'd say you want to see stress, take care of my kids, house, dh and farm then explain stress!

    Answer by JenzAmomOf2 at 10:18 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • LOL!!! She needs a reality check....only question is how to give her one without alienating her or puttig her totally on the defensive. Maybe she doesn't feel comfortable with her household management/organizational skills so she overly relies on the nannies. Maybe she could start learning how to cook a few easy meals...slow cooker soups, pot roast (super easy and delicious) and perhaps hubby could "wean" her off the nannies little by little.

    Answer by purplerobin at 10:18 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • The next time she says she never gets a break, snort loudly at her, laugh happily and ask her, Your kidding right? I mean you have a nanny M-F and a housekeeper 3 times a week, Just WHAT are you NOT getting a break from? Real life? Want to switch lives with me? I dont get ANY of the perks you get and you never get a break? Then laugh again. Maybe saying it in a laughing way will make her see she is being a TOTAL ASS HAT saying that.

    Answer by vbruno at 10:19 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Yeh, that would totally annoy me, too.

    Answer by the_kimmers at 10:20 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • WOw! I know that I would probably be ready to slap her as well. You have alot of patience and self control. (comes with being a good mom.) I have worked as a babysitter and nanny even a mother's helper before I had my son and honestly I couldn't help but think how lucky these moms were that hired me that they didnt have to lift a finger (most of the time when I worked the parents were there as well) Now that I am a mom of my 6 month old son... I can't imagine how they were stressed with so much help.
    If it makes you feel any better I am really proud that you havent followed in her foot steps and you are showing your children a good example and what a mother who loves and cares about them really looks like. I am a teen mom myself and you are a true role model. thank you. bekkah

    Answer by zavsmom829 at 10:22 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Some people complain for attention. Although she sounds like she leads an easy life, perhaps she is very unhappy. We never truly knows what goes on behind closed doors even in family's homes. If she complains about having no time, etc in front of you maybe she is trying to spark a reaction in you knowing you don't have help. I would ignore her. Good luck.

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 10:34 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • I agree with the other moms she has nothing to be stressed about shoot I would love a housekeeper and or nanny just once a week!!


    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 8:31 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • No it wouldnt annoy me. I know plenty of moms like that and had a nanny myself. When you arent used to doing everything anything can seem to be like "too much". My mom is the same way, she has nothing to complain about and I just listen to her because shes my mom and then tell my husband boy she has no clue about the real world lol.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:41 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • she sounds like someone who does other things, probably working on something that is stressing her mind out and then turning the blame on her kids and everything else.

    like she could be working on a novel and then after a long day, her mind is stressed out from thinking so much that she cant handle more from her kids.

    and yes it does annoy me, everytime she complains i'd just ignore it and pretend she didnt say anything, maybe she'll get the hint that nobody really wants to hear it

    Answer by americansugar80 at 8:47 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

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