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Advice please?!

My husband and I have been together 3 years, 2 year old daughter, spent last 9 months apart, 6 of them separated due to issues on his part. He is in the military so were in two different states. We have been trying to work things out but not everything is falling into place. My Mil and I have always had a rocky relationship but in recent months it has gotten better, until my BIL got engaged. I am from up north and now live in GA. I married a southern, and his family and I have never seen eye to eye. Well this new gf/fiancee is southern to the core. Her life goal is to be barefoot and pregnant mind you she is 18 no job no car nothing. My idea of a life is a career and having the ability to live comfortably. My mil worships the ground this girl walks on and now treats me like a piece of crap. I am constantly hearing .. Why do you wear makeup, Why would you straighten your hair, Who would pay 40 dollars for any article of clothing? Their idea of clothing is no bra t-shirt and sweatpants. I am a very humble person; however, I do take pride in my appearance. I am in nursing school and I never stop hearing how women should be home with the kids and men should make the money. With my husband and my relationship so rocky this added bull from his family is not helping. I am supposed to be temporarily moving back to where my husband lives on Saturday for 3 months to work on things before I have to come back for school. I love my husband but with our past and this new family dynamic I am starting to wonder if it is worth it. I can't constantly deal with this. I have tried talking to him but he says just deal with it... I have no idea what to do...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:58 PM on Mar. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Do what is best for you and if you want your marriage to work go back and work it out but you should only do it if you want to. As far as the 18 year old she will just be another cog in the wheel before too long. Your mother in law does not realize or maybe she does but generations have changed and I would say smile and move on she is not going to change.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:06 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Well, I think for your dd's sake, you should leave all of his family drama behind, ya know? I can't imagine how annoying it would be but it's not your dh's fault for that. You don't have to be what they want you to, be comfortable with who you are whether anyone likes you or not. As for your marriage, do everything you can to make it work. Life is so short, and it is worth it.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 11:07 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Well its gonna take the both of you to make this work and if hes not willing than you have your answer! If you are unhappy your dd will feel that and who knows she may find herself in the same situation and stay in it bc thats what her mom did. Good Luck Email me if you ever wanna talk!
    SARAHBIGGS1987

    Answer by SARAHBIGGS1987 at 11:09 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Well seeing as he's in the military you don't see his family all the time right? Well, unless he is a reservist that is. Hopefully you don't have to talk to or see dh family all the time. If you and his family don't see eye to eye on something and it escalates try ending the conversation with everyone has a different point of view on things and no one is right and no one is wrong. I am in the military and so is dh so I know how tough marriage can be. I hope you and dh can work things out for the better. Good luck.
    sweetpea1217

    Answer by sweetpea1217 at 11:12 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • MOST OF THE TIMES US WOMEN LOVE SO MUCH THAT'S IT HARD TOO LET GO, BUT AFTER TRYING SO MANY TIMES TOO MAKE UR LIFE BETTER WHILE ADDING MORE DRAMA 2 UR LIFE, IT MAKE THINGS COMPLICATED, AND OUR KIDS SEE WHEN WE R FRUSATED BECAUSE WE R DEALING WITH ALL THEM BAGGIT. BUT IF U CAN WORK THINGS OUT WITH UR HUSBAND AND HE IS WILLING TO BE WITH U AND NOT THE 18 YEAR OLD THEN GO FOR IT BUT IF NOT THEN KEEP IT MOVING. SOMETIMES U CAN FIND UR SELF BETTER WHEN U ONLY HAVE TO DEAL WITH UR PROBLEMS AND LOVE UR KIDS. JUST BE YOURSELF AND REGAIN YOUR SMILE BACK.
    paradyxe28

    Answer by paradyxe28 at 11:45 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • The 18 year old is my future sister in law not with my husband lol sorry if it sounded like that...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:53 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Why do you need to go back and work on things if he has already made changes in his life? It sounds like that he has moved on, so what's the point of going back and raising issues that should already be gone? You are in nursing school and it looks like to me that you have moved on as well without him. If you are happy with what you got now, don't go back. You'll probably just hear if from his family anyway. I wouldn't want any part in it if it was me.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:02 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

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