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2 Bumps

20 month old DD already talks back and tell's me and DH NO!!

Wow she's not even 2 yet and already throw's tantrums..It is kinda funny but, I don't laugh she goes down to the floor really soft and rolls around and starts crying.. Not just falling out hard on the floor like I have seen other children do. how do you discipline a toddler..Time out don't seem to work because she don't understand.. taking away toy's don't work because she can entertain herself..Awww and when she know's she's in trouble she tries to give us kisses..and I have to take her kisses.. What do I do? she is just to cute.

 
newbabystarr09

Asked by newbabystarr09 at 12:48 AM on Mar. 14, 2011 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)
  • With all of the parents that I work with, I tell them that the best thing that you can do for tantrums is to totally ignore them! Don't look at her or speak with her when she collapses onto the floor! If you give that behavior attention, she will continue it because it will "work for her" on some level. Even if she doesn't get what she wants, she gets attention. So climb over her, walk away and don't look! Tantrums will greatly reduce or stop! Time outs are only for aggression! If you can see that it's occurring because she can't get her way, that's the time to ignore her. If she's having a tantrum because she's having difficulty doing something, like a puzzle, teach her (you may have to wait until the tantrum is over!). It's really impossible to talk to a child in the middle of a tantrum. Here are some great Toddler Tips that may give you ideas in other areas: http://www.helpmealison.com/toddler-secrets.html
    AlisonAstair

    Answer by AlisonAstair at 6:38 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • dont give her the kisses its normal to start this she may just be wanting attention what you could do when she dose it is just ignore her tatrum and when she stops go back and tell her thats not good and let her know you still love her
    blinkys11

    Answer by blinkys11 at 12:52 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I, personally, would take her kisses... and tell her every time that you love her and love her kisses but because she ddi whatever that she's going to have time out or whatever works for you.

    What she's doing is pretty normal at this age - she's figuring out what she can do and what she can get by with.

    Good luck, mama :) Sometimes it IS funny - just try to not let her see your laughs :)
    AAAMama

    Answer by AAAMama at 1:15 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • That's why they call them the Terrible twos. She'll be fine and will outgrow it. She has no other coping skills for when she gets upset. Just teach her how to react. Work on the positive. Don't tell her no as much as showing her what she CAN do and less on telling her what she can't do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Mostly, kids have tantrums because it will get them attention, or they are frustrated. At the moment, her brain is working way ahead of her mouth and fingers. She might want to do something, but be physically unable, or she might want to say something,and know the words, but they won't come out right.
    It's a frustrating time for them.

    If they're going to hurt themselves, then move them. Other than that, just ignore it until they've calmed down and try to help them with their emotions and actions. They're not fully in control yet.

    Don't you get frustrated when you can't do something? I'm not a fan of hitting kids for tantrums, it's an absolutely normal part of development, and i don't believe in punishing kids for emotions. At the moment, she's learning about feelings, and she doesn't quite understand them.

    Piskie

    Answer by Piskie at 4:50 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I remember when my son used to throw tantrums they would get so bad that one day I finally said "See this mouth, it is bigger then yours and I can scream louder than you. If you don't stop I am going to scream." We he didn't stop and I just looked at him and screamed at the top of my lungs. He was so surprised to hear me scream that he never did it again. It was very funny.  I would also ignore him, I would tell him if he needs to help with something come to me don't just lay on the floor and cry.


    I am not sure that punishing her for this behavior is the best way to go.  She is more than likely frustrated because she can't do something she wants to.


    Good Luck!

    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:56 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • You can't turn away kisses, for sure! But, gently and firmly tell her that she is NOT to tell you or DH "NO". Be consistent.
    DSNMomma

    Answer by DSNMomma at 2:27 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • When she is throwing her tantrum put her in her bed until she can stop screaming and crying.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 2:31 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I HAVE A 20 MONTH OLD DAUGHTER ALSO AND SHE AT THAT STAGE, BUT I ALWAYS LET HER KNOW THAT I'M IN CHARGE. SHE'S AT THEM STAGES WHERE SHE FEEL LIKE SHE IS GOING TO DO WHAT SHE WANTS TOO DO AND SHE GOING TO TEST ME BUT YOU DON'T LET HER SEE THAT YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT BECAUSE THEN SHE'S GOING TO TRY TO RUN OVER TOP OF YOU. WHEN SHE THROWS TANTRUMS HIT HER LEGS AND LET HER NO SHES NOT GOING TO HAVE EVERYTHING SHE WANTS. AND WHEN SHE TRY 2 GIVE YOU A KISS AFTER SHE DID SOMETHING SHE KNOWS IS WRONG DON'T GIVE HER A KISS BECAUSE ITS TELLING HER IT OKAY TO KEEP DOING IT ANYWAY. YES STILL LET HER KNOW U LOVE HER & MOMMY DON'T WANT TO SEE U GET HURT THAT'S WHY I TELL U NOT TO DO THINGS. OH AND DON'T LAUGH AT THE THINGS SHE DO THAT NOT RIGHT. BUT SOME OF THE THINGS THEY DO IS FUNNY. LOL
    paradyxe28

    Answer by paradyxe28 at 1:30 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

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