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2 Bumps

How long did it take, after becoming a patchwork family, for things to be normal (routine)?

So, there's me with my dd and there's him with 2 dd and 2 sons. Things are getting more serious, but I don't dare to bring up moving in together. It's scary.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:50 AM on Mar. 14, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I had a 5 year old daughter when I married my husband. He had no kids. It took us about a year and half to two years to feel settled and "normal". My understanding is it can take years, and sometimes you never get to the "normal" point, especially if the children are older. GL!


    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 10:07 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • When you have a blended family things are never "normal" lol I grew up with a stepdad and 2 stepbrothers. I never thought of them as "steps" they were my dad and my brothers, but my dad had passed away so I was at home all the time, and my 2 brothers never saw their mother so we were more like a typical family than most blended families in that we were all together all the time (and my parents didn't have to deal with ex's). My older sister was very rebellious as a teen and it put a definite strain on my parents relationship. I'm sure you know that 2nd, 3rd marriage tend to have a higher rate of divorce than first marriages.
    I have 3 kids from my first marriage and 2 with my husband. The relationships are good all around, but it's hard with them going to their dad's they miss out on certain things with our family and my extended family. It's hard.

    Answer by missanc at 8:58 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • IDK but surely this one deserves a bump...

    Answer by AnuMeha at 8:59 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • For us it took about a year. My dh doesnt have his own kids but just adding him to our family & than having a child together was a major adjustment for my kids. I would say that the first year was the hardest. After that of course we still hear about how we love youngest dd more or how my dh loves her more, which isnt true. They dont get they have been around dh now nearly 10 years and he loves them all the same way.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:05 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I have a 15 year old daughter and been married to my husband for 1.5 year and been together for over 4 years. My daughter lives with us 50% of the time and it's been very hard with her. We start to get into a groove as a family and then she is gone to my ex's for 6 days. It breaks up the momentum we had and then she has to get used to our household all over again. She does like my husband very much - but she gets moody and doesn't want to do ANYTHING with us as a family anymore. She refused a trip to Hawaii, skiing and camping this summer. She also refuses to go out to dinner most of the time (so we just eat at home) or go to the movies with us. She just wants to lay on the couch and watch TV. Part of it is just being an ornery teen. But it does hurt my feelings (though I TRY not to take it personally) that she doesn't seem to want to be a family with us. I'm hoping that with time it will change.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 12:04 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • You want your dd to grow up and move in with anyone who she loves or do you want her to wait for marriage and do it right? what you do now teaches her what to do

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Take it a day at a time and don't worry about something that has yet to happen. If it is right, everything will fall into place. Funny thing is he may be thinking the same thing and is scared to talk to you about it. Happens to me a lot with my hubby.

    Answer by dakotafriend at 3:31 PM on Mar. 15, 2011