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Do you think children who were bullied raise children who become bullies?

I have actually noticed this quite often. Those children who were bullied instill in their kids the 'don't take shit from anyone' attitude and sometimes that can become bullying. Children who WERE the bullies seems to raise kids who are quiet and meek and become the targets of bullies. It's like we try to raise them the opposite of what we were.


Asked by IhartU at 9:43 AM on Mar. 14, 2011 in Parenting Debate

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Answers (12)
  • I think it's the opposite. I was bullied in school. I tell my kids I better not ever find out about them bullying, in any way shape or form. On the other end though I also tell them not to take it.

    Answer by arenad at 10:05 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • some maybe , most not

    Answer by letstalk747 at 10:18 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • i dont, i was bullied to the point i wanted to die when i was in middle school and i do not raise my kids to be bullies. the times i have heard my children say something mean i immediatly tell them that we do not treat people that way, yes we should stand up for ourselves but do not go around being mean. if someone is bullying you tell the teacher. i do not ever want them to be treated the way i was and i do not ever want them to treat someone that way either and will do everything i can to have it be that way.

    Answer by tiffanyv123 at 10:24 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Yeah, not really agreeing with that. There is more to a behavior than just what their parents were or are. I was bullied, my kids are far from bullies. I think it really goes person by person.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 10:57 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • It's possible that happens occasionally, but personally I don't think it's the norm. It usually seems like kids who are bullied at home take it out on other kids. They feel insecure or powerless and want to feel power over someone else, I would imagine. I think it's more likely that a neglected child, an abused child, or a child with very uninvolved parents would grow up to be a bully. I think sometimes it has to do with individuals more too. If a child is aggressive and impulsive and never learns healthy ways to deal with that, then they're more likely to be a bully however they're parents are. If a child is shy or 'different' in any way, they're more likely to be bullied. I think it's possible to teach your child to stand up for themselves without starting fights or trampling all over others in the process. They also need confidence and need to know who to turn to if they are bullied. Most don't even speak up about it.

    Answer by pam19 at 1:29 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Not always. There is not one size fits all formula for creating a bully.

    Answer by UpSheRises at 3:52 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I don't agree with that neccissarily. I am not going to say that isn't the case at all, because yes it can be the case. However, I think that it depends on the individual of the person. Sometimes those who are bullied never grow up to have confidence and can sometimes continue to be bullied even by their children or spouse. Even if the children or spouses don't intend for that. As well as bullies can also grow up and have children who as well become bullies. It depends on the individual as they grow up and as well as the child themselves and how they respond to the parents.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:26 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I dont think so, I think that a child will make a self decision on how to treat others morethan people think! JMHO

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 12:51 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • *their not they're ^

    Answer by pam19 at 1:29 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I'm sure that may be the case some of the time, but it's definitely not the case all of the time. My mom was bullied as a child. She was very poor, and got made fun of for it. She raised my brother and I to NEVER bully anyone, and to stand up for the kids who were bullied. I think hearing her experiences made me be even kinder and way less likely to bully because it always broke my heart to imagine someone as wonderful as my mom being made fun of and picked on. However, I WAS taught not to take crap from anyone. She always taught me to stand up for myself, but never to start a fight. I think it's possible to have a good balance. I'll teach my son never to be mean to others, but to also not to allow anyone to be mean to him.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 2:53 PM on Mar. 14, 2011