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One that got away

Do you have one that "got away"?

We always hear this term "the one that got away" so I'm curious do you have someone who got away so to speak?

I do, kind of. So 8 years ago I went on a trip to DC as a high school student. There were hundreds of other kids from other high schools that attneded this week long trip, we all stayed in the same hotel, were mixed together, & made visits together, etc. Alright there was this guy who I instantly connected with. I was a shy girl back then but while being around him & in this new setting I was very flirty with him. It was a lot of fun that week all thanks to him.

The trip had to come to an end & he had to go back to Ohio while I had to go back to Maine. We exchanged aim info though & ever since then have been talking online. A few times I almost went out to see him or he tried to come up here to see me but it never worked out. We still talk to this day & if anything were to happen with SO & I I'd be with this guy in a heartbeat. I honestly think that he was the one for me. I tell him (not that we naughty talk or do anything inappropriate with our talking but we'll crack a joke here & there b/c we both know that we would have worked) so I tell him that I'll catch up with him in the next life if we dont get our chance this one.

I'm sure this sounds weird to some of you but eh whatever. I'm happy for SO & my baby girl but SO is different then this guy, I think I've always known deep down that this guy & I would work out. So got anyone of the sort that your lives went in different directions but you just know that you would have been great together?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Mar. 14, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I think "the one that got away" is something we all think about -- sometimes more than others. It is easy to elevate this guy to the status of being "perfect" because we don't have to live with them day in and day out. I've seen it happen more times than not that TOTGA comes back into someone's life after many years only to shatter illusions and expectations. We tend to remember them and carry them in the best possible light. We don't see them age. We don't have to live with them when they lose or fail in life. We don't get sick of them squeezing the toothpaste wrong, or leaving the toilet seat up, or leaving funky underwear laying all over for us to pick up and clean for them. They stop being truly human and become ideals. At that point, there's absolutely no way the real person behind the ideal can ever live up. We all do it, but don't lose sight of what is real and good for an escape fantasy figure.

    Answer by SnowLepp at 10:41 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • my first real love.... we dated for over a year and somehow always end up finding eachother.... He to this day comes into mind every now and then ...

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 9:59 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Oh yeah. My first bf and me would have been awesome together. We are still friends in fact. He moved away and I didnt hear from him. His mom didnt let him leave home until he was 18 and she moved him 100 miles away, this was before cell phones, or internet. So it was just like he forgot about me and I thought maybe he had. I started dating my now ex husband who was friends with him, and then he came back. He came back twice and looking back I should have gone with him, but it is what it is. I would not have my kids if I had, and he has 5 kids of his own (I also have 5 ironically). We both know life would have been much different if we had stuck together.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:58 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I do...saw him not too long ago after 20 years and felt more sure than ever that he was at the end of the road not taken. I don't regret anything though. The road I took led me to my husband. We've been together for getting onto 17 years and have a beautiful little girl. :)

    Answer by Nonoluna at 9:59 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Yep. Yeah. Yep.

    Answer by at 10:01 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I guess in a sense. Knowing him now I wouldn't want to be with him if I could, because of the person he's become. He's not a bad guy, just has aquired some behaviors that personally I wouldn't want in a partner. However, for many, many years I always thought he was "The one that got away". I moved on, grew up, and found someone who I'd rather be with and that helped me realize that the other guy was nice for my younger self. However, my adult self just wouldn't be able to put up with him. Ha!

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:23 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • After 20 years I finally married him. It's been wonderful.

    Answer by meooma at 10:39 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • No- all my other relationships ended for a reason, and I look at those people now and think, "Thank GOD I got away when I did!" lol My DH is definitely the only man for me, ever. I always tell him if he ever divorces me there won't be another man in my life because I can't stand thoughts of training another man. lol

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 10:44 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Haha...I did. Then I found him. He turned out to be a crazy alcoholic who was convinced that he went to other planets and defended the aliens that lived on them from other aliens that were trying to take over. He'd been that kind of guy all those years before when we were together, but he'd hid it well because he wasn't quite so crazy or drinking quite so heavily yet. And I was only 17, he was older and really cute, so I was willing to overlook minor things that didn't add up.

    In some ways, I wish I'd never found him because then I'd still have those untarnished, golden memories of him. But at the same time, that did allow me to fully let go of him and stop wondering. It allowed me to fully embrace my relationship with my SO (who I met after Crazy and I broke up), and not wonder what would be different or compare him or anything like that.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 11:50 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Nope, I thank God I didn't end up with any of my other boyfriends.

    Answer by HKing01 at 11:14 AM on Mar. 14, 2011