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I need mommy advice!

I have a 4 yr old son and we tried to have our 2 child 2 1/2yrs apart from eachother but that didnt work bc at the time I didnt know I had pcos so it took us much longer to get pregnant with my now 11 month old little girl. So here is what Im fighting myself over and its eating at me everyday...... my husband and I want one more child and I would love for our youngest to atleast have a sibling close to her age since I wasnt able to do that with her brother. However Im just not sure if Im ready to start trying again cause as everyone knows having a baby is allot of work lol and not too mention my 11 month old is still waking up 2-3 hrs a night if not more and nurses. Am I being selfish by thinking this way in regards to not being sure if Im ready or not to start trying for another baby? I know I can be a wonderful mom to any child Im given, I guess Im just looking for a little break you could say but I do have days that I would love to have another child right away lol.

Answer Question

Asked by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 10:22 AM on Mar. 14, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 16 (2,456 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Hell NO you aren't selfish for wanting to wait, infact thats very unselfish. Enjoy your baby while she's still a baby, you know it doesn't last long. My kids are 5.5 years apart and we LOVE it. I was able to spend more one on one time with each child.

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 10:26 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Not at all, it would be selfish for you to have another baby that you weren't ready for! Good for you for being such a good mommy!

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 10:28 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Take it one day at a time. If you do decide to have another one now, or at least start trying in the next few months, maybe consider getting a nanny to come a few days a week and help you with one or both while you get a bath or some cleaning done... A little extra help each day will make a world of a difference.

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 10:28 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • You're already a mom, so you are already well aware of how MUCH a child changes your life. There is nothing selfish about being responsible and self-aware enough to know you are not yet ready to have another child. On the contrary, I call that maturity, wisdom and responsibility. If your concern is whether or not you're being fair to the children you have now by not giving them near-age siblings, consider two possibilities: (1) The decision to have the 2.5 years apart is based on an IDEA that this is optimal -- not concrete evidence. (2) Successful, happy families with well-adjusted children come in all shapes and sizes. It is far better to wait until you are sure you're ready to have another child than to push yourself before that time comes. Your children may not end up with near-age siblings, but once they are old enough to start making friends, that won't matter to them anyway.

    Answer by SnowLepp at 10:31 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • When I had my twins, my daughter was 17 mo old when they were born. It was hard work but it was also really neat to have them so close in age. They all play together so well now and are very close.

    Answer by Momforhealth at 10:32 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • It's ok either way. I have 2 that are very close in age and two that are 5 years apart. It's fun and there are good things either way. Just relax and when you are ready to have that 3rd baby go for it. Untill then, enjoy the baby you already have.

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 10:41 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I have a sister that is the 'perfect' 2 1/2 years younger than me and she and I don't get along at all, that's putting it mildly.
    My baby brother and I are 10 years apart and our relationship is much better that one I could ever picture with my sister.
    I always felt more like a second mom because 10 years is quite a span.

    my nieces are 5 years apart and weren't planned that way. I was worried about her getting a sibling after 2 years like was planned since this girl is the center of everyone's universe. I think the extra few years of being the only child worked out just fine.

    I don't think you're being selfish to want to wait to be a mother until you are ready to do so.

    Good luck with whatever you decide!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Thank you ladies for all the advice. Someing else I havent mentioned is even though I have pcos, ever since I had my daughter last year Iv been having my period every month which wasnt happening befor when we were trying to concieve her. So in a way I feal like now is my chance to have another baby without seeing a fertility specialist again. But all in all I think some of you are right that I should wait untill Im 100% ready to have another baby which hopefully is really close cause I love being a mom :)

    Comment by LANDENSMOMMYlmk (original poster) at 11:13 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Let me start off by saying that I have 3 sons that are 18, 13, & 2 1/2. If I would have known that i was going to have 3 kids, I would have preferred to have them slightly closer together. But, I still wouldn't have them any closer that 2 - 2 1/2 years apart. That way, you only have one in diapers at a time (hopefully;)). But, that being said, I am a FIRM believer that everything happens in GOD'S TIMING, not our own.
    Good Luck and I hope this helped!

    Answer by DSNMomma at 1:25 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

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