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2 Bumps

Am I justified in being very upset with my MIL? What should I do?

She was watching our 3 year old, and spent the majority of the day calling my husband on the phone and yelling at him over a disagreement they were having. When I went to pick up my son (she was supposted to drop him off at our house, but decided she didn't want to anymore when she started fighting with my husband) I told her I was upset that she would yell at my husband in the presence of his son, it wasn't appropriate, and we were going to need some space from her while we calmed down and came to terms with the situation. The next week, she showed up at our sons preschool, unannounced - we still weren't talking to her - and conducted herself in a manner that my son's teacher told us was "creepy and unsettling". She kept hugging our son and telling him "you need to tell your mommy and daddy that you need to come over and see me again." I want to never speak to her again - not only is she disrespecting me and my husband as parents, she's involving our child in our disagreement - but I'm not sure how to continue on at this point. Any advice??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Mar. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • Yea I would be Pissed as hell. Take her off the list at your sons preschool, she's not respecting your wishes.
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:37 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I would explain to her that you are simply uncomfortable with how she is behaving and involving your child in adult business and until this changes, you do not want to be around her.
    BaileysMom476

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 11:38 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • And definitly take her off your pre-school list!!!!
    BaileysMom476

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 11:39 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • she's acting like a child. i agree with removing her from the daycare list!
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 11:44 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • You didn't mention why your MIL was upset with your husband. Whatever started the argument was between MIL and DH. She shouldn't be yelling while babysitting. We are all human and I would never hold that against her. However, going to school and discussing this with a 3 year old at school is VERY inappropriate. You all need to sit down and discuss the matter and set boundaries. Keeping a child from anyone they love is also wrong.
    Rnurse

    Answer by Rnurse at 11:44 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Like the others' said, first thing is take her off the access list at your son's preschool. That way she can't be "creepy and unsettling". I have very little to do with either of my parents for the very same reason as you describe. And yes, I'd be pissed the f*ck off too. There is NO excuse for bad behavior, no matter the age
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:47 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • If you take her off the daycare list, make sure you have no intentions of using her as a babysitter in the future. Because you can't have it both ways.
    Rnurse

    Answer by Rnurse at 11:49 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I told her I was upset that she would yell at my husband in the presence of his son, it wasn't appropriate, and we were going to need some space from her while we calmed down.



    Just curious, do you or your DH ever yell at each other in front of your son?
    Rnurse

    Answer by Rnurse at 11:54 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • NO excuse for what she did - my mother has always been too involved in my parenting and now I'm paying the price with my 18 year old. As a single mom for a lot of years I felt somewhat forced to use her as I had no options and no $$ at the time to hire a sitter - so I allowed my mother much more input than she should have had which included my daughter being exposed to "adult conversations" or arguments that she never should have seen. NIP IT NOW. Cut the crazy lady off your list and let her know that you will not accept that behavior from her in front of your son. totally inappropriate and you are justified in your feelings. Limit her involvement NOW, I sure wish I had. Now the damage is done for me and I regret it.
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 11:56 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I agree that she definately shouldn't have been yelling at DH in front of your son. However, keeping him away from her won't be good for him. He won't understand why he can't see her and he'll be upset. I think you should just talk it out and hope for the best, but she should understand that bringing the child into the middle is wrong. I would be mad as well.
    Tink05215

    Answer by Tink05215 at 11:57 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

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