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Quick question for you ladies..

My dh wanted to know why do mothers think that they have the right to choose who their sons like, love &/or marry?

Thanks

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cassey522

Asked by cassey522 at 11:17 PM on Nov. 23, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Oh, good question. Actually, we are going through this right now. Our 18yr old son is in the Air Force and is planning on getting married next month to his fiance of two years. Now, she's a good girl and very sweet BUT she is NOT ready to be a military wife. She is VERY needy and tends to cause problems for my son since he left in September for the Air Force. Do I want him to marry her? NO. Only because as parents we have "been there, done that" and I try and extend my advice and steer him in the right direction (so I think).

    I know as a mother with two sons, I have a jealousy over them. I don't want my kids to be hurt or struggle through this life. Although, I am very aware they have to make their own decisions and live their own lives.....it's just a mother's instinct to protect her children.
    Southerncharmes

    Answer by Southerncharmes at 11:20 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • I don't think mothers have the right to do that and I have 2 sons...the oldest is almost of dating age. The first love of my life's mother hated me and made our relationship hell for 3 years., so we broke up..I would never do that to my son. I am not the girl my MIL would have chosen for her son at first sight...met in a bar, divorced with a 2yr old son and Billy was only 20...I'm sure my MIL thought I would be a disaster, but she kept her mouth shut and now, 10yrs later, tells everybody that will listen how much she loves me and how I made Billy grow up and be a man and motivated him to succeed.
    mizkaye

    Answer by mizkaye at 11:21 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Because they are insane! No, they probably just lived their entire lives for their "son" and expect that they should continue to be able to control his life after he's an adult. That's why a woman shouldn't just be a "mother" and live her life for her kids, she becomes consumed with her children and ends up pushing them away.
    Stop the cycle and just remember not to do it with your own children. :)
    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 11:21 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Because they are OUR sons!!!!!! My baby is 5 months, but I'm trying to get it across early, he's never getting married!!!! No girlfriends(or boyfriends, for that matter) haha! He's mine, all mine!

    No, seriously...because you're his mom and you want what's best for him..it's that simple. If you do not like the girl, or get a bad vibe...you just don't want your baby getting hurt, that's all.
    cjo1366

    Answer by cjo1366 at 11:22 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Because we as moms and we as a fellow women can detect a rattlesnake thats y........ my sons father did his share of going around the block with anyone who would lay down and this discusses me not in a jelously way just i think that people should respect themselves more anyhow i do not want my babies dragging in some trashy girl like that I want them to have a nice girl that respects him and his family and herself and if they choose to be with some little hootch then they can just stay in my driveway and not come in my house.... those are my babies and I rasied them and hopefully I will raise them with enough sence and qualitys that they will look for the positive qualitys i hope for in a girl..... call me insane but again they are MY babies and always will be!!
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 11:31 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • I am trying to raise him up wanting the best. I've been bad myself and know how evil women (and men too) can be. I hope he picks a Godly humble women. That covers it all. Wish you the best outcome. Blessings :)
    JCRestoredme

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 11:48 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Very good question.
    jareda69

    Answer by jareda69 at 12:18 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • We dont have that right... unfortunatly, mothers like to think they do... but they dont... I will give my son advise, and tell him if i like her or not.. but if he really, genuinely truely loves her, then i will make nice... but the min she breaks his heart, that bitch is mine!!! lol

    ugh, i got a long way to go on this...
    tyree08

    Answer by tyree08 at 12:27 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • It's hard to imagine someone you don't like sitting at the table with you on sunday dinners etc.. typically even with friends we can see things about their bf/gf that they can't and it's an even stronger need to protect our children from people that will hurt him. I only have daughters, but I'm sure they're going to bring boys around that I won't like and I don't know how I'll handle it but I hope that I can give my opinion and then just watch closely and be there to catch them when they fall but I doubt that's what's going to happen. All of you ladies that have sons tho, just remember that those girls don't have to let you see your grandchildren so try really hard to stay polite about it (got lots of friends that don't get to see their grandkids because the relationship and wives/gf's don't like them)
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:04 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • We don't have the right even though we really like to express our opinion sometimes.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 8:24 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

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