I have been asked by BM to not discuss matters regarding SS with her. I am fine with that. I don't really want to do it anyway. However, SS will only come to me with problems. He doesn't ever talk to BM about anything. She has no idea what is going on in his life, he doesn't tell if she doesn't ask. She never asks anything about his day or school or his friends or anything like that. Well, I told him today that he needed to talk to his mom and his dad about certain things as well as talking to me about them so that she knows him and knows how he feels about her. I made the mistake of telling him the reason that she and dad needed to handle things regarding him together was because I am not his mom. He cried and said that he thought that I was a mom (as his step mom). I am the one he is with most of the time, I am the one he recognizes as mom, I just don't have the title. How do I explain to an 8 year old how this works?
Asked by Anonymous at 11:56 PM on Nov. 23, 2008 in General Parenting
It sounds like you're doing everything right already. You have the trust issue established which allows him to be reassured that he can talk to about anything whenever he needs to. And as far as his BM, you're encouraging him to talk to her too which is awesome. So, all in all, it sound like you've got it all covered. And I totally agree with imtheonlysane1 in the respect that she should be thankful for you because YOU ARE ENCOURAGING HIM TO TALK TO HER. Keep doing what you've been doing because it's probably going to get harder sooner than it will get easier and with both of you and your DH on the same page, your SS will have an even stronger support system.
Answer by LovingParent08 at 12:32 AM on Nov. 24, 2008
Answer by imtheonlysane1 at 12:04 AM on Nov. 24, 2008
Answer by babycakes254 at 12:08 AM on Nov. 24, 2008
Answer by kaycee14 at 12:16 AM on Nov. 24, 2008
Answer by frogdawg at 7:30 AM on Nov. 24, 2008
Answer by LexsiesMommy at 10:12 AM on Nov. 24, 2008