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HE HAS SOME NERV!!!! :( sorry very long.

addiction?? or just an excuse for what he did??
so back in october of 2010 i caught hubby chatting wit a bunch of girls even telling one that he loved her. gettin naked pics of these girls.. thing is he made up a name n profile so ppl wouldnt know it was really him...he says he knows that doesnt make a difference cuz he was till the one doing it bt he didnt really have those feelings for anyone else but me :( come to find out he had like 20 different profiles n names he used on there on 20 different dating sites..well he says he just addicted to that stuff..swears up n down that he'll never do it again n never ever hurt me..he also did that stuff for a whole year that i found out. did it from aug 2009 to oct 2010 n even said he'd prolly still be doing it if i didnt catch him..he says he felt so guilty all the time but couldnt stop. so my ??? is..is he really addicted or is it just an excuse!?? n if hes really addicted will he really stop n never do it again? can someone stop an addiction over night??

so i posted this a while back but now there is more :( so a couple weeks ago i swear on everything i was looking out my living room window n i swear i saw my hubbys car drive by...called his ass up cuz he was supposably at work he told me i promise it wasnt me (him) blah blah.i have major trust issues now :( so i have him take pics while hes at work...so he had to work this weekend that just passed but then calls me n tells me boss says we work 5am- 5pm we can have sunday off..i was like okay sure thats so great!! seein as hes been workin 4 weeks straight weekends and all..he works at a turkey farm n they were doing clean out at the time...anywho he calls me around 4pm says im coming home yay!!! look at his pics that night that he took at work n they all say 2pm didnt come straight home i text him all the time n tell im i miss u cant wait till ur home...his excuse o my phone must of messed up n says the wrong time for the pic..so we fight all night we have the same phone so i knew that was bs. went to bed pissed..woke up sunday morning still pissed then he finally cracks tells me yes i got off at that time n i went to park across the street to make sure ur not doing anything or trying to leave me...dont u think the best way to make sure of that is to come straight home..wtf i have not done shit for him to ever think that i mean im still here after everything hes done to me..still working on our marrage even getting over what hes done n puttin it in the past even startin to put my trust in him again. its like everytime he sees that things r gettin better his stupid brain says o its time to be stupid once again..i want to just get over it but this time its gonna take longggggger to gain my trust once again. im still very much in love with him. i just wish if he has something thats bothering him he would come to me. he told me that im always sayin how hes a big mess up n im stilll hurtin i am but the reason i say hes a mess up is i know it hurts him to hear that...thats what he says he said when i hear those words it makes him feel that i dont love him or dont want to be wit him..i told him if i didnt love him or want to b with him i would of left this last time he screwed me :( but this should show him that i love him sticking around. what is his problem thinking to come spy on me when hes the one that messed up??? how can i get him to understand im not doing or going anywhere??

Answer Question
 
mommyof3_21

Asked by mommyof3_21 at 2:33 PM on Mar. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (704 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Sounds like the two of you are in real need of a marriage counselor. He also needs to see a therapist on his own. Something needs to be done because this is obviously out of hand. He shouldn't be treating you this way and you definitely DON'T deserve this kind of treatment.

    SinaiJ

    Answer by SinaiJ at 2:46 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I read these kinds of stories/questions and my first thought is always the same. He's cheating, he will not change, he will put as much blame on you as you will let him. I would end this relationship right away and move on.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 2:47 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Sounds like my ex-husband who was in denial for years about his addictions.....recently after doing the same behavior with a girlfriend and getting caught he had to admit the therapists were right all along and he is a sex and porn addict. Perhaps you should suggest counseling....but trying to make it work without him getting help and coming clean won't bring anything but misery to you, him and your children. Leaving my ex wasn't easy but it was the right thing to do. Not only was I happier alone but I eventually found a man who is a REAL MAN and treats me the way I should be treated. I have 100% faith and trust in my husband as he has for me. That was never the case with my ex and it would have never worked
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 2:47 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • i was addicted to those yahoo chat rooms at one time, i came to realize that it wasnt such an important thing after awhile, i negleted the house and many other things because of it. i didnt need help but i was also never caught, i was just being pathetic. Thank goodness i came to realization that they are just full of pervs and pple who want to exchange pics and snapped out of that. It seems that your boyfriend is at a point where he may need help since there is no more trust in your relationship.

    you need trust to keep it alive but only if you WANT it and he should WANT it too.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 3:23 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • If you keep listening to his crap I have some ocean front property to sell in Wyoming.
    stitchintime

    Answer by stitchintime at 7:46 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

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