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What are your basic rules for your 7 year old??

Just curious if i'm being too leniant or too strict. She is my stepdaughter and likes to be at her bio moms more because she doesn't have many rules (her bio mom doesn't make her brush her teeth, do her homework or even bathe) I think her father (my husband) has been feeling guilty about his daughter not wanting to be at our house because of our rules and instead of reading a book before bed he is letting her play her DS game system. Last night she stayed up until 11:30 though before she came out and said WE forgot to take it from her. I had no idea she was in there playing it and my husband took the blame. She is almost 8, she knew that she was staying up too late playing her game. 3 hours! On a school night! I'm thinking I need to put all my rules back in place again...

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Humanerror99

Asked by Humanerror99 at 4:42 PM on Mar. 14, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 5 (73 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I think rules are good for a kid, i also let my son play his ds at bedtime but he knows what time it has to be off and he follows through with it. he is 8, just because her Mom lets her do whatever it is important for a kid to have these rules. you will know that even though the kids do not always like the rules that your being the best parent you can be.
    jenn4443

    Answer by jenn4443 at 4:46 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • My daughter (who just turned 8 on Saturday) and my son who is almost 6 have the same rules. Homework is to be done the minute they get home from school. While they do their homework, I make them a snack, which they eat while finishing their homework. Only when homework is complete do they get to play video games or computer time. The next rule is only ONE HOUR of video games or computer time per day! So they have to think and make the right choice for them. My son prefers to use his time up right after homework time, my daughter like to wait until after dinner when her cousin is on so they can play together.

    Bedtime is at 8 pm on school nights, no exceptions! I will let my daughter read for 20 minutes before turning out the lights. Teeth are brushed before going to bed...always. You need to write the house rules down and post them, obviously your husband needs a reminder. Kids NEED a lot of sleep.
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 4:50 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Mine's about to be 7 in June.
    Basic rules:
    1. Clean up after yourself. This means every morning, after breakfast, the bedroom gets cleaned. Beds made, toys put away, clothes in hampers, swept. Once a week she wipes down the walls, dusts, takes all the bedding off for washing, and scrubs the floors with me.
    This also means put your dishes in the sink and rinse them when you're done, wipe down the sink after brushing your teeth, putting things away when you're done with them, etc.

    2. Schoolwork. We homeschool, so every day after breakfast/bedroom, we sit down and work. Luckily she likes school currently. But it's non-negotiable, and attitude needs to be kept in check if she doesn't understand something. Pens/pencils/art supplies/worksheets need to be put away afterward.

    3. Helping around the house. I expect when I call her, that she show up - not "WHAT" screamed down the hall. When I ask her to do something, (con't
    LadyMommaDukes

    Answer by LadyMommaDukes at 4:50 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • it gets done with no arguments, no huffing, etc. Simple things like letting the dog in, or putting her clothes away when they're washed/folded, etc.

    4. Patience with her younger sister.
    5. Manners. Please, thank you, excuse me, sorry, etc. Non-negotiable.

    Other than that, it's pretty laid back. She can play video games whenever she has downtime. As long as chores are done, schoolwork is done, hygiene is met, she's free to do what she wants. She can watch tv or a movie during bedtime, or read, or listen to music. The only rule is to be quiet if her sister is sleeping, and try to be asleep before her Dad gets home (11pm-ish).
    LadyMommaDukes

    Answer by LadyMommaDukes at 4:55 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • My kid is 8 and I'm very particular about the DS and TV screen time. I'd like to have it under two hours. They cannot play until homework is done. Anyway, put your rules back in place. Little kids need guidelines...it's just basic parenting.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 4:55 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Last night she stayed up until 11:30 though before she came out and said WE forgot to take it from her.


    you did forget to take it from her. she's 7 not 17! it's up to the adults to do things like watch the time.

    I had no idea she was in there playing it and my husband took the blame

    so what do you mean you had no idea? Did she get up from bed and start playing, or did you know she was playing and then leave her to stop at the time she was supposed to.
    sounds like she's testing you.

    If her bio mom isn't making her brush her teeth or bathe, sounds like she's being neglectful. sounds like this little girl may be better off living with you.
    but I think it's unreasonable to expect a 7 year old to stop playing the game when she's supposed to. that's what the adults are for.
    it's easy for a adult to loose track of time while playing those games, (me included!) let alone a 7 year old!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:58 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • To the anon, I had no idea that her father was letting her play it, but she knows our rules well enough and how to tell time very well and when I did find out her dad said that she could play, she was told to turn it off at whatever time he told her to turn it off. What I did not clarify is that she got back up in her room and started to play it again and came out of her room after she was done. By "we forgot to take it from her" meant we left it on her bookshelf where we always do and she decided to break the rule by getting up and playing it. My husband is trying to be more leniant of her this behavior and just decided to say that it was his fault. I don't believe it was though, she KNOWS the rule, just chose to ignore it. He was the one who put her to bed, so I REALLY had NO idea, and with her door closed at night, I wouldn't have known by walking by. And whether or not I think her mother is neglectful, I can't change
    Humanerror99

    Comment by Humanerror99 (original poster) at 5:47 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • (count) what the courts have decided.
    Humanerror99

    Comment by Humanerror99 (original poster) at 5:48 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Kids need rules. My 7 year old did not get to play video games before bed. She got a shower, story, and song. Then it's lights out.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 7:50 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Mine is 7 (8 in Aug.)
    She is to get up on time without too much prodding. Get dressed, brush her teeth and have her backpack ready to go. Then she may watch TV if there is time.

    When home from school she is to do her homework and make sure I sign all papers that need to be sent back. She has the responsibility of keeping the hallway picked up and the kitchen table cleaned off. She sets the table.

    She takes a shower or bath (and washes her hair , I wash it for her every few days so I KNOW it is clean)
    Her school behavior sets her bedtime Green 8:30 (until recently she RARELY stayed on green, so she never stayed up that late , but any crying or whining pushes it to 8:00 or 7:30) If she moved her name to yellow then 8:00 and a blue it is 7:30 .

    Besides that , talk nice,obey mom and dad, help when asked.
    pammomof9

    Answer by pammomof9 at 8:41 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

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