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Does it matter how old your spouse is, in relation to your children?

What is unacceptable, are there guidelines? Should the childrens feelings be taken into consideration?
if the father's young wife is embarrassing to his son b/c of the 12 year age difference? Its not as if I am 19, I am 27, I do not dress provocatively, i just wear jeans and t shirts, so how is that not dressing my age? I am not a new wife, we have been married for 7 years, he didnt start getting embarrassed until he started looking older. And I still look the same.

my husband is only 8 years older, he started having children young. The older kids are not embarrassed, just the youngest.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:11 PM on Mar. 14, 2011 in Parenting Debate

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Kids feelings and thought should ALWAYS be considered. As for guidelines well I guess that is up to the parent whose getting married. I dont think it would be right for lets say a 40+ yr old man to marry an 18 yr old and then expect his 20 yr old daughter to have any sort of respect for her new "step mom".
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 6:17 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • It varies person to person. It bothers him. Talk to him about it.
    tiddliwinks

    Answer by tiddliwinks at 6:13 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • There's nothing you can do about it. If he's embarrassed, he's embarrassed. Just keep on being yourself. Either he will get over it or he won't.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:14 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I personally think age shouldn't be an issue. It isn't in my family or my dh's. Communication, particularly between your husband and stepson over all this might help.
    Nonoluna

    Answer by Nonoluna at 6:15 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • my husband has a son and grandson the same age....every now and then our son asks his dad..." why can't you be as young as the other dads"
    our son is 6 and already seeing that his dad is much older then the others
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 1:24 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • To some situations, yes. However I dont think theres much issue with yours. Hes 35, your 27. Not a big deal at all. And by the time his son graduates highschool you will be a 30 year old. I dont think your ages are close enough for issue. I think the problems are when The 50 year old marries a 21 year old and hes got 30 year old kids. Thats awkward and weird and I cant imagine the children having any respect for their dads new bride. I would just talk to his son to see what the real problem is, maybe there is some underlying issue that hes covering with the age thing?
    JDmommyJD

    Answer by JDmommyJD at 3:12 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I think he is entitled to his feelings.  He had no say in his parents splitting and no say in his dad remarrying.  Parents do have to think about their kids when they remarry it is their own life to live but the choices they make do impact the rest of the family.  The son being embarrassed is natural and there isn't anything that needs to be done.  He will come to terms with it and hopefully in time lose the embarrassment.  Divorce and blended families are hard on kids and there are always consequences when parents break up a kids family. 

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • 8 yrs?? Are you kidding me? I thought you were going to say 20 yrs. My father was 8 years older than my mother and nobody gave it another thought. There are spouses today who are younger than their stepchildren. Something else is going on here.
    depressedmom65

    Answer by depressedmom65 at 8:57 AM on Mar. 16, 2011