Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Accused of cheating

I was accused of cheating today by my boyfriend and I must admit its one of the worst feelings ever. We had been talking and he was constantly throwing beer after beer back, and had got to about 5 or 6 when I got upset about a comment he made. I was mad I took my things and walked away I didnt even want to argue with him. He followed me and asked me what was wrong I really didnt want to talk about it but once I did he got offended and then threw up that I was trying to him over. I was furious. From the beginning of our relationship I've been doing everything to make things easier for him, even stressing so much because we're expecting a baby in 4 months I'd cry when he wasnt home and pretend like everything was okay when he'd return home from work. I worked so much my car stopped running I caught rides with co-workers and used my paychecks to pay bills instead of getting my car fixed. And this is his house, not ours, my name is on nothing. ANyway, he went off saying I had some aletrior motive and I was cheating on him and all kinds of things. I never in my life cheated on anyone or even considered and him to say I was f.kin him over was just hurtful. His entire family has treated me like trash from day one and I have stuck by him, saying nothing. I cant even believe now he said this. I have packed my things and will be gone by the end of the week. Im just really hurt by this I dont know what to do. HE's saying well if you leave I''ll find you. Why would you want to find someone whose cheating on you. He had problems in his past relationship (she got pregnant and the child wasn't his) and I'm assuming thats where this is coming from minus his mom told him I was cheating on him because I talk to my friends on facebook. I'm really confused but I know leaving is the best decision. This will never end.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:52 PM on Mar. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • You are doing the right thing. You have to think of that baby and stress is not good for you.

    Answer by HomeAlone45 at 10:12 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • The insecurity is absolutely understandable if he's been burned once before, but sweetie, all the rest of it -- especially the threats -- are huge red flags. Insist that he get some counseling, or get out before your baby gets dragged through this right along with you. I'm all for sticking it out in a relationship, but not when someone is showing textbook signs of becoming a classic abuser. Know that it won't go away and it won't get better if you just pretend everything is okay. The fact that you're in a relationship and a baby is expected, yet you have no rights and no share in ownership of your mutual home is NOT okay. Please.. see it for what it really is and take care of yourself while it is still your choice.

    Answer by SnowLepp at 9:31 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • You're doing the right thing. No one has to put up with crap like that, especially pregnant! I understand he's had rough relationships, but he needs to heal before getting into another one. You shouldn't be punished for other people's husband deals with that with his BM, and it kills him. You need to get yourself out of that situation, and he needs to work on himself! Where are you staying, with family? Also, when most people accuse someone of cheating, they're usually cheating themselves...make sure you're protected!

    Answer by JustCantWait88 at 9:10 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • You are doing the right thing for you and your baby right now. You don't need the stress. It could cause you to lose the baby.

    Answer by stitchintime at 7:34 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Yes RED FLAG No Doubt.. I Had An Ex Tell Me That And He Has Attempted To Find Me .. He Is In Jail But He Gets Out And Continues To Try And Find Me.. He ENDED UP Back In The Correctional Facility Trying TO Find Me And Did Not Succeed So He Stole A Credit Card From Some Girl He Was Abusive.. Now I Am Happily Married To A Wonderful Man And We Have A Lil Boy Together He Is 10 Months OLD.. I Am Terrified Of My Ex..He Is Crazy.. So Becareful And Get You And Your Unborn Baby Out Of This Situation Before It Gets Alot Worse! GOOD LUCK Sweetie Remember To Think Of Your Child And Your Safety First! GET OUT NOW!!! GOOD LUCK SWEETIE! Be Strong!

    Answer by TRENTONSMOM336 at 7:12 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • My ex-husband accused me once as well because he said he "got me from my ex". So, it made me feel he never trusted me the whole time I was with him. He was an idiot anyway!

    Answer by rio_burb at 7:09 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • It's one thing to accuse you of cheating when he's drunk but when someone tells me if I leave they are going to come find me....that's a red flag and I would try to get me and my child out of that enviroment as soon as possible....Hope everything works out for you mama

    Answer by Lucky209 at 7:01 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • no comment from me saying he will need counceling lol...anyway, just think now, how he will have to pay for everything now, the bills and whatever, because your gone now. He will try to contact you again so think it over if you are willing to give him another chance.

    He's accusing you of cheating cause you decided to have some contact with the outside world and it may have been a male, his jealousy might be through the roof...idk. He's not ready to accept that you are faithful because like you said...his past. Dont think things will be ok just because you will have a baby together. Make a decision for yourself.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 7:01 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I am glad you are leaving now before the baby comes. A child doesn't need to grow up in that kind of environment. Good luck sweetie!!!!!

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 6:57 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • He is insecure because he has never recovered from his past relationship and experience and he is taking it out on you. I would leave tonight if you can call a friend to go stay there. He doesnt sound very stable if hes saying he is going to come find you.

    Answer by gemgem at 6:55 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.