Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

Do you have a pre-conceived idea about young teen mothers?

Honestly do you have an idea about them before you even see them or do you judge them in the same way as anyone else?

I am 16 and my daughter is 12 months old, when I conceived her it was not consentual, but I don't think that matters at all, I'm talking about how well you parent not what silly mistakes some people make - it doesn't mean they're inherently bad people... I go to a baby and toddler group with her every Saturday and there are about 12 other mothers there most Saturdays. They won't talk to me, they won't even look at me most of the time and last week when I tried to join in with a conversation about first steps they just looked at me like I was speaking another language.

A few weeks ago somebody criticised me for using my phone in the supermarket when I was asking my mother if we had bread in the house, a woman came up to me and said: "why are you teen mothers always texting and not looking after your baby? you make me sick.". I'm at the end of my tether, so I was wondering is it the same everywhere? Do you have a pre-conceived idea at all?

I love my daughter just as much as anyone else loves their children and I'm just getting really down about all this. Whatever I do is never enough for some people, a mother is a mother, no matter what their age their personality stays the same. Do you agree?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:10 PM on Mar. 14, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (32)
  • I would have said " I hate it when old people get into other peoples business instead of looking after THEIR own kids".  How freaking rude of her!


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 7:12 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I wish I could have MrsHouston47302... But I always let people intimidate me, I'm too scared of seeming rude myself.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:12 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I wouldn't want my child to have a baby at a young age but stuff happens.  There is no "perfect" general age to have a child, that age differs for each and every one of us.  As long as you are doing what you know you should be, that's all that matters.


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 7:13 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I'm really sorry you're having such a hard time with people judging you... And you're right, most people will. You actually sound very mature for your age, as compared to a lot of other teen moms. Personally, my first thought is always "I really wish sex education was better in this country", which obviously would be incorrect in your case, too. But I have nothing but admiration for those teen moms who step up to the plate and are responsible mothers. Now the ones who want to continue being a "normal teenager" and don't realize their first responsibility is now their baby, not themselves... Those I have issues with.

    Answer by Anouck at 7:13 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • No I dont. I was a teen mom, my daughter later was a teen mom. Shes one of the best moms I know.

    Answer by gemgem at 7:13 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Wow, honestly, you must be having a stream of bad luck or something. I was a teen mom and NEVER did anyone look at me strange or randomly speaking to me in such a manner.

    FOR ME. I like myself better as a parent now, than I did at sixteen.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 7:14 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • When I had my baby at 16 One of my teachers everyday after class she would pull me aside and ask if i was keeping my baby and if I "changed" my mind that she knows a family of adoption. This teacher never liked me and automatically assumed I was going to be a bad mother Because I was the ONLY PREGNANT ONE she asked there were like two other pregnant girls in her class but she never said a dang word to them. I at one point got mad and said well my mind hasn't changed yet has it its not going to either now stop asking and I walked out of her classroom. I don't see the difference from if your 16 and at school or 25 and at work your baby still goes to a daycare doesn't it? Uhh I just can't believe some people. Im sorry that your having problems with ignorant people.

    Answer by JordonMichelle at 7:17 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I don't have any preconceived notions about teen mothers and if you were in a play group with my I would talk to you.  It is not easy being a parent at any age and think as moms we need to stick together.  We need people to talk to and vent to.  I was 22 when my first child was born and 27 when my third was born.  When I became a SAHM after my 3rd child was born I started going to a play group and met some great moms.  Most of them are 8 to 10 years older than me.  9 years later these people are still some of my best friends.  I guess what I am saying is you just need to find the right group.  I know it is hard & frustrating, just dont' give up as time goes on it should get easier.

    Good Luck and keep you head held high.  It doesn't matter what other people of you, believe in yourself.


    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:17 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • I guess i do. I am pretty sure that they've got a rough road ahead of them .

    Answer by UpSheRises at 7:18 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • where i am from it seems like that happens, and they think teen moms are not good mothers. As long as u love ur daughter, and have a steady place even if it is with ur parents, and trying to make things work for her u are a great mom.. i was a mom at 18years old, turned 19 3 weeks after my son was born.

    Answer by at 7:19 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.