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How can I get stepdaughter's mother on the same page.

My son recently just turne two and his father and I bought a blow car chair for him. Well unfortunately he has not had a chance to even sit in the chair,because his 7 year old sister sat in it and now it is busted. My daughter to told me that my stepdaughter sat in it. Well she denied until we came back from church. Mind you this it not the first time she has lied, sometime she lies for small reasons. I asked her mom if she does this type of behavior at her house, she said no, but the child said she does. My daughter wanted to call her talk to her sister but the mom want answer or even call back . Why is she so offended, when we should be working on a solution on how to get my stepdaughter on the right track.

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mitAva

Asked by mitAva at 4:00 AM on Nov. 24, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (4)
  • Oh boy do I know what you mean!! Step parents are the enemy most of the time especially when the EX's are concerned. My Ex wife is law is un freaking believeable about how hard she makes it on my hubby! As much as she can get him to jump thru hoops to see his kids the happier she is. She probably lies herself and that is why that is acceptable behavior for her daughter. If only you could divorce the EX wife! Start setting your own sets of rules at your house and just tell your step daughter you do not know how her mom lets her act at home but when she is with her dad and you she will listen to you, tell the truth because that is the right thing to do and let her know she is part of the family, and every single person in the family must respect the other family memebers and their posessions.Maybe this will carry over to her life at her moms.
    1countrygal

    Answer by 1countrygal at 6:12 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • You may never be on the same page with her, that is the reality of blended famillies. My suggestion is that when their is an issue or update that your husband be the one to speak to his ex. Rules, consequences, and issues that occur in your home or that impact your home life are dealt with in your home. She may lie and that is dealt with in your home by you and your husband. Children learn they have one set of way of operating at one home and another way of doing so in the other. The key is to have consistancy while she is with you. While she is at her mom's home if you don't get a phone call back then you don't. The person hurt the most is your sd. Which is sad. But set up your home and have your husband respond to parenting issues in terms of school, health, child support, ect...and keep your home in order.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:41 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • This is a real crappy one, and I feel the same way as you and the first poster. My boyfriends (still legally his wife) is impossible to talk with. My boyfriend will ask a simple question about one of his children's behaviour and she will go insane, start screaming at him that she doesn't do anything to make them act that way, sometime's she will even laugh at him and tell him that it's his fault because he is a crappy parent!!!! We have major issue's going on ourselves, the court is 100% on her side, our judge is sexest! And we can't even get a protection order for the children!
    I hope things will atleast settle for you, my boyfriend had to go 8 whole months without see'ing his kids, and now his son argue's with him that he isn't his dad and that his mom's bf is his dad!
    :(
    Rachel_88

    Answer by Rachel_88 at 11:35 AM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • I totally understand where you are with this situation. My two stepkids lie constantly! And I have come to the conclusion it is because it is acceptable behavior at their mother's house and that she lies too! UGH. We have rules for our house and we stick to them VERY STRICTLY! LYING IS NOT ACCEPTED! Our biggest No No here. I will say it is getting better, but it is very hard and frustrating to deal with. Especially when we only see them every other weekend and most of the time they are in trouble for lying. Stick to your guns! GL
    Kristen2679

    Answer by Kristen2679 at 9:31 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

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