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Only children?

I've considered having another child when I'm ready, but I'm hesitant because of my experiences with siblings. One of my older sisters was very emotionally abusive to me and my parents kind of shrugged it off as sibling rivalry. However I still have major self-esteem issues because of her. I don't want my children to go through this. Am I being over-protective or paranoid? Have you had problems with having multiple children?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:59 AM on Nov. 24, 2008 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Answered at 7:19 AM on Nov. 24, 2008 by: m.robertson811
    Its a matter of parenting. Your parents obviously sucked at it when it came to the problems between you and your siblings. If you dont want that happen to your kids, then be better than your own parents.

    I think there is a time when mommy and daddy need to stop being blamed and one has to take responsibility for their own actions. My grandmother raised me and did a damned good job at it (god rest her soul) but my brother still did everything he could to get under my skin. I turned out "good", and my moron brother who used to lock me in rooms, and leave me screaming for hours, and hit me the minute my grandmother turned her back....still kept doing it. Now he's in jail for another 5-10 years. Not for hitting me (obviously, lol) but other bad choices. You can only blame the parent so long before you have to start taking responsibility for your own actions.
    meitaimom679

    Answer by meitaimom679 at 10:31 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I havent had any problems that are out of the "norm". I think the way children get along coinside with the parenting. If you parent your children to get along and respect each other then you shouldnt have a problem. Good luck in whatever you choose.
    momie_of_munch2

    Answer by momie_of_munch2 at 7:11 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Its a matter of parenting. Your parents obviously sucked at it when it came to the problems between you and your siblings. If you dont want that happen to your kids, then be better than your own parents.

    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 7:19 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • If you want to expand your family because you and your husband have the love to give and the ability to provide for another child then it would be a wonderful addition to your family. If you and your husband are satisfied with having one child and feel that your family is complete as it is then that is what works best for you. But if the only thing stoping you from adding another joy to your life is the abuse you experienced in the past - then how terrible and sad it is for you. The abuse you experienced continues only if you let it. You may have been a victim of your sister's issues and your parents' neglect (they should have done something to stop it) but you can either choose to stay a victim or you can choose to move on. Do you stay in that place or is it time to move forward? And you are not your parents - you would parent your child/children differently.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:24 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • What happened to you happened because your parents didn't do their job as parents and protect you. They didn't do a better job with your sister, of either teaching her that she was wrong or getting her help if she had emotional or mental problems. It won't happen to your children as long as you pay attention to them, listen to their concerns, to the way they talk to each other. You already know something like that can happen, which puts you ahead of the game, b/c you can be even more aware to prevent the problem before it could even start. Teach them to love each other, to respect each other, stand up for each other, and you'll all be fine.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:17 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Ahhh i was 7 years younger than my sister and she was a jerk!!!

    But....i held my own and it made me into a stronger person, my dd is due in dec and my 2 yr old dd is going to be there for her little sis no matter what..
    its all about how your raised and treated *...i think my mother and father spoild me and my little brother because we were the last out of 6 kids,

    and it brought jealousy into the picture, their fault but as kids...we are the ones that got our butt kicked by all of em!
    Now...they turn to me for advice....and i dont know why lol
    LexsiesMommy

    Answer by LexsiesMommy at 10:18 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • The problem was not with the number of children in your family. The problem was that there was a weakness in the parenting. You can learn from those weaknesses and not have to repeat them.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:20 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

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