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3 Bumps

How would you address them? (long story)

This is a sensitive subject for me but I'd like some advice on how to deal with my family. When I was a child (long before I was even old enough to remember) I started engaging in self-injurious behavior as a response to abuse that I was recieving at home. The abuse was of course not known, or not addressed in anyway (not sure which). Anyway, so I started to bite myself when ever I was overwhelmed by any emotion. I became the big family joke (not just my immediate family but my huge extended family as well). They used to taunt me to do it, and then laugh and make fun when they finally pushed me over the edge. It is a very painful subject for me, still a problem that I struggle with, but I'd thought I put the teasing in the past. Until that is that a cousin posts a nasty comment on facebook about my children doing it thinking that she was being funny. My children don't need to cope that way because they aren't being abused! I haven't addressed the abuse with any of my family (except my abuser who I confronted and is now deceased) and my husband. I feel re-victimized by the jokes. How would you address this situation?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:28 AM on Mar. 15, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Do you feel comfortable telling her about the abuse?  If not then I would just say " you shouldn't comment on things you don't understand". 

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 2:34 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I wouldn't. Less is more. Thanks for sharing. That took courage. Just as it took courage to be a survivor. Ignore her and what she said. less is more.


    hugs

    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 2:37 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I would tell her that your children harming themselves is NOT funny, and that she is being ridiculous by making it public.
    laird6372

    Answer by laird6372 at 2:38 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I would tell the person and ask her to delete it from the facebook page. Be honest and tell her that it is a painful subject.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 2:31 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • Ask her to delete it. The unfriendly her and block her.
    karen020253

    Answer by karen020253 at 2:34 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • The petty part of me says you should post on your cousin's page that the comment was insensitive, and you question whether joking about a traumatic experience is her best effort at a sense of humor.

    The mature part of me says that you take them aside at a later date and explain what you said above-- it was a coping mechanism for a very serious event(s), and to joke about is harmful. As for the comment, I agree that you should ask her to remove it. If she fails to do so, ask the facebook techs to do so. If she continues, unfriend her.
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 2:41 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • Laired6372 My children don't harm themselves. I did, and still struggle not to. It is a well know fact about my childhood as far as my family goes.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:42 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I was able to have the comment removed.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:43 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I would definitely confront her on her bs then.  For her to know and still make a comment like that was insensitive and rude.  It would (for me) either be I'd confront her or I'd cut her off.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 3:27 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I would delete her from your facebook page there is no need for you to make someone understand you who makes fun of your pain. I think even if you did it would just fuel the fire. I would let her know her comments hurt you and get rid of her after.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 6:04 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

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