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How do people deal with parents and inlaws that act as if you couldn't raise a normal, well rounded child to save your life?

My mom and my mother in law started driving me crazy while I was pregnant as what i needed to be doing excercise wise, diet and definitely weighed in when they thought I was doing something that they didn't do back in their day. Now, they drive me crazy with always having stuff about how I should be raising my child. Some of the fun for me is the learning curve and bonding with my child and raising her the way me and my hubby see fit, not the way they think is fit. ARgh! Help!

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Asked by dakotafriend at 7:11 AM on Mar. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (302 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • If what you and your husband are doing is loving and in the best interest of the child then you need to develop a "thick skin" and ignore others. You can say thanks for the advice, ignore, or discuss but in the end do what you know is right for the three of you. Take the anger out of the situation, if there is any, and do your own thing. GL

    Answer by elizabr at 8:03 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • My mil is the same way and has deluded herself into thinking she has any say in how I raise dd. For me I let dd visit her once a week to spend the night and she can get her fill that way but I tell her what is acceptable and what is not. When she tries to do things behind my back or tell me what to do I remind her she already raised her son, and well he wont even talk to her so maybe she isnt the best person to give me advice. I have 3 older kids who talk to me and come to me with everything, so maybe I know what I am doing. My mil hates it, but I feel I am in the right. God gave me my dd, he didnt give her to her.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:20 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • Both my mom and MIL knows....that he is my son and I'm not afraid to tell either one to butt the hell out. :-)

    Answer by SouthernMama08 at 8:42 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • Ignore them or tell them they had a chance to raise their children and now its your turn to raise yours.

    Answer by meooma at 8:45 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • Do it your way, they are your children, don't listen to them, and ignore any comments. Or flat out tell them, no, I think I'll be doing this the way I feel is right.

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 8:51 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • Completely ignore them and smile and go about your buisness the way you want. If you are anything like me I promised to raise my kids COMPLETELY different than the way they did. So when they try to give advice it goes in 1 ear and out the other. : ) My sister lets our parents and her inlaws have a say in everything and she is miserable.

    Answer by vampkity13 at 9:18 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • Be honest with them. They're not going to get the idea of your discomfort and annoyance if you don't voice it. You need to let them know that even if they don't agree with your choices it's the right choice for your family. That you are only going to do what you feel is best and if you need help you'll seek it out. Just be honest with them and let them know they're being too much.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:43 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • *hugs* I've been through it too. At the time, I didn't know any better and allowed myself to be taken over by both sides. Now, I speak up for myself. I'm well aware that in some situations, that experience trumps inexperience, but! there's a huge difference between sharing a opinion with a fellow mother/stringing her along and trying to take over her job completely and cloud her own judgment, before the real work has even started. No matter how civil you are at expressing yourself to a grandmother or a MIL, "some" still feel you're sassing them. That emotion comes with the territory. Nevermind that, just express how you feel.  They can either take it or leave it. You're the mother and you deserve respect. It's your life, your child, and your choice. Good Luck!


    Answer by LanaisSky96 at 9:54 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • first off i get along with my inlaws beter than my own familey lol (thats sad) but my dads side is ok my moms side is crazy and i just dont talk to them lol i dont worrie over what people think or say

    Answer by wendyandjeremy at 9:27 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

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