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Full time mom, who works 6-2, doesn't pick up her kids from the sitter until 5pm

feeds them dinner and has them in bed by 7pm, so she only spends 2 hours with her kids a day, then her and her husband goes out on Saturday from 6-midnight. She gets mad at me b/c I said that the reason her kids don't behave is that they are starved for her attention..

What do you think?


Asked by Anonymous at 7:31 AM on Mar. 15, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • I would have told her the samething you did... Sometimes, people need a realistic, honest point of view (more like a reality check) Years ago, I use to babysit for someone just like that ... she only worked three days a week and took her kids to daycare for 5 days, wouldnt pick them up till the very last minute, then spent the entire weekend out on their boat, leaving me with the kids....On week nights she bought the kids fast food and made them immediately go to bed...The older one was put in his room with a video ....the baby was under 2 and she would leave her in her room screaming, she just shut the door and told me to ignore her she will cry herself to sleep... the minute their mom left for the evening I took the baby out of her crib, and snuggled up with her and watched a movie... she just needed some attention and love... Her brother was so withdrawn when he was home, he felt more comfortable staying in his room..

    Answer by TraceyLu at 8:00 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • You may be 100% correct. What a sad situation. I hope the sitter is kind and the kids get attention there.

    Answer by elizabr at 8:00 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I would have told her the same thing. I have friends who have issues with their kids and toss them into daycare until 6pm and then they come home with bad attitudes or habits and my friends have "no idea why". I told them well when you put your childs care into the hands of someone else then the kids will come home with habits you didnt teach them or want them to have. Sometimes it is that also, not just being starved for attention.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:28 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I hear you, and I think you were right for voicing your opinion. Mom can take it or leave it.
    I've had the same problem with my niece. Niece was supposed to be a boy, so combine that with what was probably a case of Postpartum depression and my nieces mom wasn't interested in her.

    I know what you mean, my nieces mom would ask me what she should do in a lot of cases, she'd take my advice, and things would work out.
    then I'd get angry emails from her because I 'told her what to do with her kid'

    if you don't want the advice, don't ask!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • its possible.

    Answer by jenn4443 at 7:35 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • She asked for your opinion, you gave it honestly and yes, this is quite possible.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 7:37 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I don't think I would have told her that, in that manner. But, she knows why her kids act they like they do. They are her kids.

    Answer by jewjewbee at 7:39 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • Those poor kids. Yes, it's very likely that they are craving her attention.

    Answer by May-20 at 7:52 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I can see both sides. It is hard to be a parent and when your kids act out there usually is a reason. I know lots of parents that work full time from 8 - 5 and their kids aren't bad, so I can't say it is just because of that. You can spend quality time with your kids even if it is only for a short period of time.

    Maybe she should spend a little more time with them or maybe she could try disciplining them.  The thing is they are her kids and this is her life.  I don't think there is anything wrong with telling her what you think if she asks although there is a way to say things. 

    Good Luck!


    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:03 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • It's hard to find balance these days. Yes, work is important. Making time for yourself (and maybe using it to go to the gym) is important. Spending quality kid-free time with your husband is important. But your kids are just as important as all of those things.
    You read all these articles that scream "Make time for Mom!" "Have a regular date night!" and they are absolutely right but this is after your kids have what they need. Maybe this woman needs to reprioritize. And maybe she's just one of those selfish women who thinks of her kids as an accessory. Either way, I'm sure the kids would benefit from a little more parental attention.

    Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 10:14 AM on Mar. 15, 2011