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5 Bumps

This is for married women (or women in a long term committed relationship) whats considered "for good or bad"? like how much "bad" do you allow and stay and work thru it?

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aprilrb81

Asked by aprilrb81 at 10:00 AM on Mar. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Level 6 (135 Credits)
Answers (25)
  • I think everyone's level or tolerance of "bad" differs. For me, I could never stay with someone who abused me (verbally, physically, emotionally, any which way) or my kids. Also, I could never stay with someone who refused to get help for addiction of any kind. I'm not saying I would leave if my husband became addicted but if was spiraling out of control with no real desire to change, I'd leave.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • Do you mean the for better or for worse vow? I suppose we all have our limit on bad. If you are being hurt physically or emotionally, that is too bad. On the other hand, constant bickering isn't too bad - it's an opportunity for the both of you to work on and improve your communication with each other.
    Nonoluna

    Answer by Nonoluna at 10:03 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • All of it! My husband and I just celebrated our 46th wedding anniversary, and when we said "for better or for worse", we meant it. The good news is that the worse gets better and the better gets to be the best there is. It's a glorious, glorious thing--marriage is. Thank God for His wonderful plan!!!!!!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:04 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • i agree with anon's choices and also my sister nitpicks and its like she purposely finds and complains about all the bad in a person and its just the little stuff and then she kicks her boyfriends out...i can see beyond everybody's bad habit and little stuff. so that is what i would say..i can look beyond the little stuff and not nitpick.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 10:06 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • In my opinion,the "for better or worse' refers to things that happen that are out of your control like natural diasters,sickness,deaths in family,etc
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:06 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I can put up with almost any amount of "bad" as long as we are both putting in enough effort to make it "good".
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 10:06 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I agree with the other posters...anything that is unhealthy and does not allow me to try and do my best. I mean everybody has their own shit --- but typically the good should out weigh the bad!
    PurplWildFlower

    Answer by PurplWildFlower at 10:06 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I think it depends on what you define as 'bad' and what your tolerance levels are--now if you mean abuse, (physical/verbal) or there are other negative or unhealthy things involved like drugs, cheating, - those are things that would end it for me, I would pack up and leave.
    If you mean things like illness, family crisis, finances-- which my hubs and I have gone thru-- that is the time to pull together, and try harder than ever to be a team and make it work.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:15 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I really think marriage is for the long haul. All the good and bad life throws at you and what you throw at each other. But a relationship contains mutual respect. When respect is lost and bad things are being done to hurt or oppress someone in the relationship, it is not acceptable.
    mrs.coop

    Answer by mrs.coop at 10:16 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • For better or for worse definitely does not mean when he is hitting you or having sex with every woman that doesn't turn him down. It also doesn't mean he can treat you like a door mat. BUT when those things happen(besides the physical abuse), I think you should get counseling, both separately and together, before you decide what to do or what is going to happen. For better or for worse means you give your relationship every chance you can.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 10:23 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

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