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Am i obsessing or is this normal? (about abortion)

On March 8th, exactly week ago today I was talked into having an abortion by basically everyone I know. I felt like I had no other options and it literally killed me to do this. (if you are going to bash me for the decision I made please don't even bother to reply to my post because I am really in a bad place because of this already and I don't need anyone else to bring me down about the situation.) I was 6 weeks and 4 days pregnant and wanted desperatly to keep my child, but I have a 2 year old little boy that I am struggling to take care of financially as it is. I regret my choice 100% if I could go back and change what I have done I would in a heart beat. My question is, is what i am doing and feeling normal after this or am I obsessing? I spend every minute thinking about my baby and what could have been, I research and re-research abortion over and over again, I watch videos on youtube about abortion and what the baby would be saying to its mother, I went out and got a tattoo in rememberance of the baby, I literally cry all day and night long, I sleep with the ultrasound pictures, I wrote the baby a letter and am planning to "send it up to heaven" with some balloons I bought, I have expressed to some close friends that I want to pickit outside of clinics to try to prevent women from making the same mistake I did, the list goes on and on of the things I do, think, and say about the baby. My family keeps telling me that I need to get help, but I feel that these things are normal. Am I obsessing or is this normal?

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Asked by mommieme715 at 12:15 PM on Mar. 15, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (31)
  • I think it sounds normal for what you went through but I also think you probably would benefit from some therapy.

    Answer by Syphon at 12:20 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • Ok I've been here before so I want you to consider what I have to say.... :)

    Own your choice. No one forced you to do anything. Once you own your choice you can work better with the feelings you are having. I'm sure you really did feel trapped, abandoned, and so much more, but we have to own our choices so they never happen again and we learn from them. I'm not saying you have to be okay with it, just own it.

    Second, yes what you are doing is normal. When I realized I did have a choice it was a hard pill to swallow. But at the same time, I can understand where I was at that time in my life. I do wonder from time to time. Maybe getting some counseling as well. To help you pinpoint your feelings and sort them out. You can be okay after this. PM me if you ever need to talk about it.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:20 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • Being upset is normal. Getting a tattoo and obsessing is NOT. You do need help.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:21 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • Everyone reacts differently, but I can tell you, with almost 100 percent surety, that going through an abortion is not emotionally easy for anyone. Sometimes, it is absolutely the right decision, but that doesn't make it any easier.

    You also need to remember that your hormones are going crazy because you recently go pregnant, started changing, and are now returning to baseline. That messes with our ability to remain emotionally stable.

    If you need to grieve, let yourself grieve. Don't let anyone tell you how you "should" be feeling. It is YOUR body and YOUR emotions.

    If you know anyone who has also gone through an abortion, call them and ask to talk. You will probably feel alot better after talking to someone who knows what you are going through.

    If it seems like it is lasting more than two weeks or seriously interfereing with your life, call a counselor. I would avoid "christian-based" . . .

    Take care :)

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 12:22 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I drive by the abortion clinic almost everyday (not where I had mine btw) and there are always tons of protesters, and graphic pictures, I just want to break down and cry. I was raised in a Christian family, and to this day no one know's I had an abortion at 3 weeks pregnant except the father, his family and a couple close friends in who I confided in. What you're going through is normal, I would seek counseling, NOT from a church, or a place such as BirthRight, you need a counselor who will listen and not judge based on your decision and I agree with Musicmom, own your decision, no one forced you to do it, but i'm sure you were highly influence and so forth. I am ANON because I am ashamed of my decision still to this day, almost a year later, I wish i could take it back, but i'm 100% certain she/he is upstairs with the lord in a much better place than I could ever provide for it already having 2 children.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • *Hugs*

    Answer by Kword at 12:29 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I am deffinetly going to get into therapy, but I do "own my decision" just not in a very positive way. I feel like a murderer, like I should be in jail for what I have done. I don't know how I am suppose to live with this for the rest of my life when I have barely made it through a week. I am trying to be strong for the son I already have but everyday since I had the procedure done it is a struggle to get out of bed. I just have so many questions that weren't and will never be answered. I wish I was more informed before the procedure, because if I knew then the things I know now there is no way in Hell I would have gone through with this. I just feel so alone and disgusted by myself, I don't know how I am suppose to cope or how I am suppose to deal with this. I just don't understand.

    Comment by mommieme715 (original poster) at 12:35 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • No it isnt abnormal. I had an abortion at 16 yrs old and was also talked into it. I regret my choice every day and its been more then 25 yrs. Abortion is murder plain and simple and no matter how we talk ourselves into it or someone else does in us we know it is wrong, and we carry that guilt with us forever. I would suggest some counseling or seeing a doctor because odds are this will lead to some serious depression. Go to church or where ever you believe in going and talk to your pastor, priest etc.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • Oh and your story alone would help keep women from abortion. It sounds like God is moving you to become an activist for unborn babies.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I don't see why you should feel the need to impart your regret onto other women to feel like you are helping them. Did you know these clinics are the same ones that do medical abortions for people who find out things like their baby has no kidneys, liver or have other serious conditions that would make it impossible for the baby to survive outside the womb? Do you really want to pickit outside these clinics to women that are already grieving but LITERALLY don't have a choice? You had one. You made it. You own it. Don't force what happened to you and your situation on others that are having a hard time.

    It's not fair.


    Answer by meandrphoto at 12:50 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

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