Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How are you able to be a SAHM? Or what's it like to work out of the home?

I desperately want to be a SAHM, but my fiance is convinced that it just isn't financially possible. So, all you SAHMs, how do you do it? And those that work outside of the home, do you feel like you get enough time with your children? I'm afraid I would miss too much of their lives. I really want to breastfeed my children too and I'm afraid that if I had to work outside the home I wouldn't get to give that gift to my children. So, how do you do it?

Answer Question
 
BethTTC

Asked by BethTTC at 1:21 PM on Mar. 15, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • I stay home and my hubby works about 70 hours a week. We sacrifice time together and he doesn't get to see our DD as much as he would like. BUT it's worth it so I can stay home. We make it work!
    kaylan010

    Answer by kaylan010 at 1:23 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • My hubby is military, so I have the option of staying home by stretching our budget to cover everything, shopping sales, shopping thrift stores for clothes, getting household things free off yardsale sites or craigslist, and couponing for groceries (I don't save much, maybe $15 a week with coupons but it helps). With DH being military, I prefer to be a SAHM so the kids have some stability in their lives.
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 1:25 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • We waited until we had been married 5 years before having our first child. By then, we had bought a house and had a decent savings. It's also very expensive for daycare, which I would not be comfortable with, and I knew I would breastfeed, so we just always planned for me to stay home with the kids.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 1:29 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • First... big fat myth that you can't breastfeed when you work outside the home. The longest-term breastfeeders I've known worked full time. (26 months here.)

    Second... working mom's rule. Nothing happens if mom's not there to see it. **grin** I was working 60+ hours a week, with my mom and dad doing the child care. To be honest? It worked far better than had I been home because my dad would have been virtually living with us and driving us insane.

    I wanted to stay home when my son was born, but we couldn't manage it. After a few years, we got to the point where it was possible (dad had passed away by then so the insanity factor was gone). But when I did it, NONE of us liked it. Especially not my son, who felt I was taking him away from his friends! It wasn't what any of us thought it would be. So back to work I went, and a damned good thing because my husband got laid off.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:30 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • My husband was the one who suggested that I become a SAHM, we don't get much time together and he doesnt get to spend as much time with our daughter as he would like but he thinks it is more important that I be the one who raises our children then giving her to strangers for up to 8 hours a day. There are good points and there are sacrafices...you just have to do what works for you and your family. If your SO is saying that it isnt financially possible maybe you could look into just working part time or something.
    Lucky209

    Answer by Lucky209 at 1:30 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • My husband has a good paying job so he can support me and the 5 kids. He makes like 35-40k/year (normally). At the end of this year he gets a big $6/hour raise so we should be doing just fine then.
    Before we lived with family to make ends meet while we tried to get out of debt. When that proved nearly impossible we declared bankruptcy and now live on our own. To cut costs we only buy store brand, show for clothes at Target and Kohl's (off the clearance racks) or Goodwill. We buy in bulk at Costco (with 7 people it's the only economical way to buy meat, frozen veggies and house stuff like cleaning supplies, toilet paper, etc). The only debt we have now is our truck and some medical bills. We pay for everything in cash. If we need extra my husband works OT. We don't take vacations, only have 1 car, have no savings, rent and live simply.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 1:31 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I go to college twice a week and my fiance stays home on those two days. He works the rest of the week getting paid almost 10 an hour and we have everything we need and want. We have one on the way, an almost 1 year old, and an 8 year old here. The kids never go without.
    kandimomma

    Answer by kandimomma at 1:33 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • DH works two jobs right now. One of us needs to stay home as we have kids who need constant attention and get kicked out of daycares and babysitters quit on us after a few days. He stayed home for a year while I worked two jobs and then we switched. We couldn't do it on a regular 40 hour a week job. He works 60 between his FT and his PT job. While I was working full time, I didn't feel like I was missing much. I would love to be able to go back to work right now.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 1:35 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I am only able to stay home because I have an in-home daycare. I have a degree in Early Childhood Education and worked in daycares for about 12 years. When I got pregnant with my dd (baby #3) I decided there was no way I was going back to work, daycare expense would have taken most of my check. I now make just about the same ($40 less) than I did when working full time outside of home and paying for childcare. I watch 3 kids, four days a week. I really hope that someday I get to stay home with just my kids but I love what I do and am glad that I get to stay home.
    JamieLK

    Answer by JamieLK at 2:04 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I work outside the home. I'll tell you how I breastfed:
    I nursed in the hospital, but when we came home I gave them 1 bottle a day to get them used to it. They easily went from one to the other. When they were around 4 weeks I started dropping nursing sessions and replace with the bottle. 1 day I dropped the afternoon feeding. One or 2 weeks later I dropped the noon feeding. I did this until I was nursing morning, dinnertime evening and through the night. I nursed this way for 9 months and never had to pump. My body just adjusted. When they were little I felt confident in my daycare provider. It was hard, but it all worked out. It's actually harder when they are in school and have after school activities that you have to miss. Good luck!
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 2:04 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.