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staying in a marriage or relationship

If you were scared of being a single mom, would you stay in a relationship or marriage you were not happy with?

If you were dependent on that person how would you get yourself together so you and your kids would be alright?
HELPPP

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:28 AM on Nov. 24, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • go get in school with a part time job get temporally public housing apartments and leave I did now I am happy graduated got a great job and moved out of housing and got a great condo

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • No I would not stay and I did not stay...Family..see if family can help you out while you get a job or attend school.
    If you stay you are just going to be miserabe...you can do it if you want to..
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 9:40 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Its understandable to be scared-especially if you were/are a stay at home mom. Do you have education? Do you have or can you get a job to support yourself and children? Find a place to live, staying with other family is a really helpful transition...if the relationship in your marriage is truly unhealthy and not just something that can be resolved then you will find a way to support yourself and live a happier life for yourself and children. PS don't be too proud to demand child support please! Its his responsibility too. =)
    Apr1l

    Answer by Apr1l at 9:40 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Staying in a relationship because you're afraid of being a single mom is not a good enough reason, in my opinion, to stay in a relationship. Really, what kind of real relationship could that ever hope to be?

    How are you dependent on your SO? Financially? Emotionally? Both can be overcome if it's something you decide to do. I personally would prefer to be on my own than be dependent on a man for those reasons; I'm with my spouse because I CHOOSE to be, not because I HAVE to be.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • If you are financially dependent on him but absolutely cannot be with him any longer - make sure you make a solid plan before leaving. Job, place to live, good lawyer, etc. My friend left her husband (he was a hideous manipulative creep) and now he is screwing her over bigtime where she might lose her kids because she can't find work and he is pushing her out of the house. She can't afford her lawyer anymore either because she got laid off. She didn't have a plan and goofed off all summer with her new boyfriend squandering time and money away. Now she is paying the price in desparation.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 9:56 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • If he is not abusive and you just don't want to be with him anymore. I would say, get a job, start saving, before you make the move to leave him. Unless you have family to move in with. Be prepared

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:01 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • i under stand what your going thur ,my husbands makes good money i have two cars of my own and my children are happy and get every thing they want ,i cant see putting my kids thur wefare and liveing in an apartment,i work but dont make enough to feed three kids ,open a saving account and start saveing i have, you dont no whats going to happen you need to be ready for anything,wish you all the best your not alone just breath.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I've never understood how women can be afraid of being independent. It's liberating. Dad has to help finance you. You have freedoms you don't have in a relationship. You make your own decisions. You get the entire bed. It's amazing. Why would anyone fear it? What exact fears do you have? It's a wonderful adventure. Embrace it and enjoy the journey.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:30 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • i am going through the same thing right at this moment. ive been a SAHM and now that our marriage is not going to worl I feel like i am screwed. im just trying to get a job and save up money so that my son and i are taken care of.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I fear it... I fear not being able to make enough money to pay the bills, feed and clothe my kids, birthday and christmas... daycare and the works. I understand what you're feeling. I've stayed because I was afraid to get out there and do it and it ended up being the best decision for me but it's not for everyone. If you want out, then save money like the others said, open a post office box, then open a savings account in your childs name (you're not taxed and it's not considered community property if he finds out), have the money and paperwork ready to file for temporary custody, if you don't have work/education experience, start as soon as you can. Give yourself all of the breaks you can, even if you think you might change your mind later, it is a nice safety net for just incase. Continued
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:37 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

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