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How soon is too soon??

My room mate has been dating an amazing guy for about 4 months now. He has started moving his stuff into the house. I don't really mind too much because he is great with all of the kids (she had 2 and I have 1) he helps out around the house and he will be paying 1/3 of the bills (rent, groceries, utilitys, and cable)....but is it too soon to know if it is a good idea??? she keeps asking me for advice and I don't really know what to tell her?

Answer Question
 
logansmommy711

Asked by logansmommy711 at 2:16 PM on Mar. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Level 10 (455 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • depends on the relationship and the people involved.
    ss1436

    Answer by ss1436 at 2:21 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • she been dating him for 4 months? no BUT that also doesnt give her time to actually know him, whats going to happen if he's not "the one"? it seems as though she's in a bit of a hurry, but you really dont want to tell her THAT lol maybe just say "only time will tell" and leave it at that...?
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 2:23 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • Well it depends really. Personally, I wouldn't even consider letting a guy move in with me and my kids unless a wedding date is right around the corner.. but that's just me
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 2:25 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • there's no way I'd let a guy I had only known 4 months around my kids. They get too attached way too easy! I knew my husband was an amazing guy within weeks of meeting him, but it was a full 6 months before he met my kids (and even then that wasn't planned) and he never moved in until we married.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 2:26 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I will just tell you that my ex-husband "seemed" perfect, I thought I was so lucky, I knew him a full year before ever dating him - I dated him for 6 months before marrying him. Here's how it went.......dated September, moved in October, proposed in November married in March - My bad for being in such a bad spot myself at the time I couldn't see through his sheeps clothing. I don't feel like 4 months is enough time to know someone and you never REALLY know them until you live with them.....just keep in mind once someone moves in, many times legal action must be taken to get them out. For ALL your children's sakes I'd make damn sure he's okay. Every circumstance is different - I can only tell you mine and I ignored A LOT of red flags because I wanted to be happy so badly - now I can say that 11 years later but I couldn't see it at the time. Is he in a bind - does he "NEED" somewhere to live? If so then I'd think twice.
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 2:27 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • red flag?


    how did they meet? how well do you really know him?  a man who has been dating a woman for only 4 mo and is willing to move in with her and there just happens to be 3 kids at his finger tips.... red flag???


    I say do a background check ASAP!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I personally have known him since we were about 6 years old. He is genuinely a really good guy. He has been a part of my sons life since he was born. He is not in any kind of bind or anything he has a house with roommates....
    logansmommy711

    Comment by logansmommy711 (original poster) at 2:35 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I'm sorry but I would not feel comfortable with any man moving in ( roommate or roommate's bf) in such a short time- solely because you don't really know them and to protect my child I wouldn't allow that. Maybe overnights or weekends, but that sounds early in general and way too early if children are involved. That's my personal opinion though, good luck.
    lexi8622

    Answer by lexi8622 at 2:52 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • Oh wait- just saw your comment (blackberry has limited view sry), if you have known him longer than sure- sounds okay for you, but still think its early in general for a relationship.
    lexi8622

    Answer by lexi8622 at 2:54 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I think 4 months is too soon for a guy to move in where there are kids, but that's just my opinion. It's her life, her decision.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 3:10 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

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