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Why Is She Smoking?

My Dh went to put our 13 year old daughter's backpack in her room last night, and then picked up one of her folders in the living room and went to put it in her backpack. When he opened it he found two packs of Marlboros and a lighter just sitting in the inside pocket! I was out shopping when this all happened. He confronted her about it and she admitted she is smoking because all the other kids are (groan..) When asked where she got them, she said it was not our business. Dh took them and threw them out with the lighter, and she responded by saying" Thats alright I will just get more tomorrow". Any advice on what to do at this point? How much control do we really have over this?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:26 AM on Nov. 24, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Does she get an allowance? If so, take it away from her so she doesn't have any money to spend on them. Let her know that you will find out who is giving them to her and it's against the law which means her "friends" are going to be in big trouble when they get caught. I would continue to search her backpack and room. Every time you find them, throw them out, I wouldn't even say anything to her about, it's not like she's going to come back and say, "Mom, who threw out my cigarettes?". If she has "free" time away from school or at home....then I would take that away from her right now. If she doesn't have the time to sneak and smoke then she's more than likely to get tired of the game she's playing.


    Answer by Southerncharmes at 10:30 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • one wonders if your daughter has ever actually SEEN what smoking can do to the lungs, it is horrifying. I agree with southerncharmes but you might also want to explain to her why this is life threatening, and you could appeal to her vanity because smoking really does age you so if she smoks and tans she'll look lets say 30 by the time she's 20 maybe even older if she just smokes she'll look about 25 at 20.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I would indeed ask her who buys them...she is hanging around someone OLD enough to get them legally,
    so must be hanging out with older teens,
    i would take away her cash flow and wouldnt give her a dime, and if she didnt quit, i would indeed insist on taking away her freedom!

    Answer by LexsiesMommy at 10:48 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • You are so right. You cannot do too much . You only have control Inside the home. I am sure you both have lives and cannot follow her all day/everyday. Just hope that she will find out that smoking is not cool no matter who else does it. She is just trying to fit in with the crowd.
    Good Luck.

    Answer by Grandmav03 at 10:57 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Don't you love those little come backs kids come up with. Yes, your daughter can always get more cigarettes and you can always keep throwing them away. Go on the Internet and educated your daughter on the dangers of smoking. I bet you can find a few pictures which might just make her think! I would also have a talk with her friends when they come over to visit. Good luck to you and to your daughter


    Answer by mommiedear at 12:05 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • have her smoke the whole next pack she buys and i would have her not have those friends any more. she is grounded and monitored every day and i would contact her friends parents. maybe they know and help buy them.

    Answer by melody77 at 4:58 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Man that sure seems young to me. And likes Lexisesmom said who is buying them?

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:05 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • If i where you i would call up her doctor and have the doctor show her what her lungs would look like in years to come if she kept up the smoking! And if she got this idea from her friends! Than it's time that she got some new friends! While you ground her from talking the way she did to you and your husband! Take her to have her doctor talk to her and show her what her lungs would look like in years to come! And what other health issues that she would get from smoking and when she stops! becasue smoking can be addicted forming! I know because my mom smoked ever since she was in her late teens til she was 50 and the year after she quit! She got cronic heart diease! And also! your daughter can give you and your husband second hand cancer from the smoke smell on her jackett too!

    Answer by babyboomer1957 at 2:28 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • Also you could take away all her allowances for a month and make her do chores in the house!

    Answer by babyboomer1957 at 2:30 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • You should also contact her friends parents! email them or call them up or go to there houses and let them know what is going on with the kids! Or! when you contact the kids parents have them agree with you to have there kids and your daughter to wear a sign that says! I did something stupid today! I am a teen and i smoke ciggeretts! and this is my punishment!

    Answer by babyboomer1957 at 2:33 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

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