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Am I the only one that doesn't enjoy sex anymore?

Before we had kids I wanted it 3-4 times a day... Now, we have sex once every few months and I feel like it's to much. I don't enjoy it anymore. I feel like I'm the only one here. I prefer masterbation to sex. Is there anyway to change the intensity on my O w/ my husband so I might enjoy it more? I reach that O a few times durring sex. But I really don't enjoy it. I don't like to more than once and even at that I don't want a strong one. Then give me a headache. Can I train myself to not reach O? Or is there some way to lessen the intensity???

Any advice would be great. My husband feels like I just don't want him. That is SO not it. He's got the body of a freakin god... But I want sex to last 5 mins, have one small O and be done... W/ him he goes for an hour before he reaches O and I go a good number of times... I would love to get back to our active life but I don't know what to do.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on Nov. 24, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Change the way you do it! Different positions! Talking dirty? Get excited about sex before it, also you could try mutual masturbation etc. Good Luck !

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Sounds like you're exhausted. Find a way to get a break from the kids and and work more often.

    Answer by pinkink at 10:53 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Talk to your Dr.....dont be embarrased! There may be a very fixable reason for this!

    Answer by MamaDiane at 11:18 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • are you very stressed? whenever i don't want sex it's because i feel like my husband is not appreciating me enough or else i am totally overwhelmed and stressed. i enjoy sex but i haven't been having orgasms lately either... i think my head is too preoccupied...

    Answer by figaro8895 at 11:46 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • OP here - I am exausted!! I'm a WAHM of 2 boys under 3... I've got a full house to keep up after and a business to run. Plus I have fibromyalgia and I'm Bi-Polar... I'm not on meds but both conditions make me hurt and tired... There is NO ONE to watch the kids because the only family we have isn't trust worthy. My SIL is a drug addict and my mother is abusive. So getting away from the kids just doesn't happen.

    I am not embarrased to talk to a dr but I don't have the money to see one... Very $$$!


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • cont... As far as changing the way we do it... We try to change it up. I can't do it from behind because of pain in my legs, but we switch who's on top regularly... I personally have ALWAYS hated being on top!! But he likes it. It's hard to get excited about it. we have to plan when we are going to do it, make sure the monitor is working so we can hear the kids, and then if we are too loud we have to deal with the guy downstairs blairing his music and waking the kids... My hubby doesn't do the talk dirty thing... he's just not any good at it! lol!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Try a "mothers morning out" program. They are free a lot of times and it gives mom a break from the kids.

    Answer by pinkink at 1:50 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • What is a Mothers morning out??

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • It's a program run by sometimes mothers, churches, or even local government. Typically they operate M-F, say maybe 9am to 1pm. No holidays. They charge a nominal fee to watch your child by the hour. A lot of times free if your income is low.

    Sometimes mothers will run a "mothers morning out". In this case, each mother will take turns watching the children on their day. It gives you several days of free day care, but you will be required to do the same in return when your day comes up. Google it. See if you can find one in your area.

    Answer by pinkink at 8:23 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Thanks for the idea but I can't leave my kids with anyone... We don't allow anyone but my husband and I to watch them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

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