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Child Support and DNA question...No bashing please...:)

I have a question. I am not asking to be bashed or anything like that. I'd just like some advice please. So, me and my dh have been together for 5 years. In those 5 years, we've been thru alot, and have 2 beautiful, healthy girls together. And I am currently expecting our 3rd. Before me he was married and had a daughter. His ex has 3 kids by diffrent men. and all pay her child support. When she became pregnant my dh was incarcerated, and she told him it was his. And that was left at that. While he was in jail, and still married to her, she moved in with someone else and had a baby by him. When he came out of prison he was ordered to pay 15,000 in back pay for the 3 yrs he was in jail and was out of the little girls life. They never asked for a paternity test or anything they assumed he was the father since they were still married. Then came the divorce and the ugly custody battle. Despite of CPS reports of child abuse, and having the little girl removed from her house and given to my dh's parents, and numerous accounts of childabuse allegations from neighbors, and her own family members. The court still decided their daughter should remain with her mother. Well, then we got together time after, and have been together ever since. And dh pays $ 485 a month in child support. CPS still gets calls that she abuses all her 3 children. These are her own relatives calling. The little girl everytime we see her, because we live in diffrent states, she is always in raggety clothes, has had lice for as long as i can remember. Her mother also always puts up a fight always to let us see his daughter. We've done alot, and have spent thousands of dollars on lawyers and courts to try to get custody, but it never works. And now with a 3rd child on the way, moneys getting tight. And I was wondering does the attorney general take into consideration my children. and their expenses? And since the beginning there has been doubts if she even is his, he just doesn't voice them to anyone but me for fear that her mom may find out his suspicions and move away. Does he have to let her know if he wants a dna test? Or can he do it on his own without her knowing? I love my dh so much, and i've seen him go thru alot in the last years, that i don't want him to get hurt anymore. I'd like for him to know for his peace of mind. They live in Texas where the fathers rights are limited, if that helps any. Please some honest advice. Anything would help.. Thank you moms..

Answer Question

Asked by mayra_07 at 4:33 PM on Mar. 15, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • pay for the test uorself next time you have her. you don't need her mothers permission. if it comes back negative, there ya go

    Answer by SMWOODS at 4:37 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • He owuld have to contest the courts for a DNA test if he thinks there was cheating in which case the court will serve her the papers in order to get teh child's DNA to be tested. If teh child is his he'll continue to pay child support, if not he will no longer be required to pay

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 4:38 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • By law if you are married and the wife has a child you are automatically the father, dna or not. The time to have brought it up would have been then. Now so many years later just because he asks for a dna test doesnt mean much, a judge may still see him as the defacto father since he has been in her life and supported her this far. You can certainly try. You also can do your own dna test outside the courts when she comes to visit get a peice of her hair or swab her cheek and buy a kit.

    As for child support yes you get a credit for kids in the home. You have to call child support enforcement and ask for a reduction and claim the kids. They can tell you if its possible.

    Answer by gemgem at 4:38 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • Do you have an "Equal rights for divorced fathers" in your town? Figure when the child was born, how long he had been in jail, and do the math. If it's possible that the child is not his, take your equations to the DA or Equal rights for divorced fathers. And, yes, he can request a DNA test. But, if he requests it, it will cost you. Telling someone that the girl may not be his and able to prove it, maybe the State will pay for it then have her reimburse the state, as well as facing fraud charges.

    Answer by Kimimale at 4:39 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • All other issues aside I'll respond to your base questions - Unfortunately since he didn't question paternity from the beginning I think he's screwed because now you have a little child who believes this man is her father, he accepted the role and DNA or not he has placed himself as this child's father. Think how it would mess this child up who can't possibly understand the dynamics here? No judgment at all - just my opinion. He was really not thinking by not speaking up from the beginning, now he is paying the price as are you based upon his actions.

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 4:40 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • wow! im surprised they didn't change things up after the divorce. i dont have much insight here because my ex was mandated to do a DNA test since we weren't married or anything and it's part of the law here in my state. maybe you guys should just get yourselves a lawyer and go from there. tell them that your husband wants to be sure the child he is supporting is actually his.

    Answer by tnm786 at 4:41 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • In most states even if your DH is not the bio dad and they were married when she had the baby he is still legally the kid's father.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 4:41 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

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