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3 Bumps

Does anyone else think this is a little stupid?

kind of a S/O of the child support question just asked.

a lot of people responded that in most states, if you're married and have a child legally the child is the husband's even if it's really not. so in the scenario of the question asked before, what if DNA proves he's not the father? he still has to pay just because he was ONCE married to the mother of that child, but he didn't even conceive that child? how does that makes sense, why doesn't he just give her spousal support then!!? it makes just about as much sense as supporting a child that isn't his. why don't they do DNA tests after a divorce if there is questionable paternity? or do they, and in the previous question the guy just forgot to ask for one at the time?

 
tnm786

Asked by tnm786 at 5:00 PM on Mar. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I think it all has to do with if the DH is on the birth certificate. He is consider the father. Cause he allowed it.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:22 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • They can if the father asks for it. If paternity is established and comes out he's not the father, then he stops paying child support if he chooses to, some do-some don't, because they feel that is there child. If he was in the marriage and thought it was his all along, and then later finds out it's not he can also sue. Again, it varies state from state from law to law, but they CAN do paternity testing, even if they were married and he wants one.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • It is just how some state law is. I know when I had my dd 6 yrs ago I was divorced, but had not been divorced 3 months before she was conceived and I had to get my ex to sign a peice of paper saying he was not claiming to be the father. Otherwise, I would have had to list him as the father. Nice right? It actually works both ways. I had not even been with my ex in 4 yrs. He was supposed to have filed for one is all and when he never did I ended up doing it myself.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 5:17 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • The court is interested in keeping two people legally responsible for the child. If the husband does not request a DNA test, then the courts stay out of it...however if it goes on for years that he is the one providing support for the child, and the child recognizes him as "dad", I think there should be some obligation there. I have a hard time thinking of it as "him doing a good deed for a while", and if I was in the position where I was the only mother a child knew from birth, 10 years down the line of raising the child in my household, I wouldn't think of it as "my charity is over"...that would still be my child.

    Since the option for DNA testing is available, I WOULD tell someone who does not believe he is the father of the child his wife is carrying to make the choice from the get go to make a choice they can live with for life right away. However, I can see how this would get even harrier if cheating came out years later
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 5:18 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I think it is stupid he would legally have to pay if it isn't his - I guess the question is - if he accepted this child as his own, has a relationship with the child (how old is this child) then how do you explain that to a child who believes he is his/her father? and "forgetting" to ask for a test at the time is a pretty big thing to forget. It seems like the way you portrayed it in original ques - there were a lot of things going on at that time and it didn't seem to be something he was in a position to dispute. No judgments here - just my opinion. I just don't get why he would accept the kid and have a relationship if he knew there is no way it could be his. Obviously this is not a cut and dry answer. If he has no relationship with child then my point - is obviously less valid.
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 5:22 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • for the record - it was not me who asked that question earlier. just to clarify.. lol

    tnm786

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 5:30 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

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