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Grandma needs a break!

I have 6 children, 5 of which are grown, 3 boys and 2 girls. I still have one girl at home who is 13 almost 14. My oldest daughter who is 21 has been living with us along with my two grandsons for over a year now... At first it was to help her transition during her divorce. She has been working for a year now and is making pretty good money. She works 2nd shift ... I babysit for her full time... I feel bad, but I just don’t have the energy to chase 1 & 3 year old; Plus homeschooling my youngest daughter. I have no time for any kind of a social life. I have asked her to find part-time daycare, but she says she’s not been able to find one that she likes or trusts... We set a date for this to be final...It past by about two months ago now.... My husband and my younger daughters are at the end of their rope with me now... I have two emotions lately, sad and mad.... My husband took matters into his own hands and put her and kids in a hotel... I still watch them, but bring them back...she is transferring her job about 4 hrs north of here... part of me is sad and another part of me is relieved....I know that I enabled her for many months now... I feel bad about that... I just wish she would see what this is doing to me. I feel so guilty. I just want to be a grandma and play with them... bake with them, go to the park with them... but then, send them home...(Thank you all for taking the time to read the rantings of a grandma)


Asked by noname1967 at 5:47 PM on Mar. 15, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 4 (56 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • You are a good mom & Gma & I know she will appreciate what you did for her & the kids. It was not enabling, it was doing what any kind-hearted, caring mom & Gma does when their child is in need. I've found that being the parent of an adult child is not very easy & still ask for advice here on CM. (just did today in fact- but not getting the answers or advice I was hoping to get!) I'm sorry she & the kids are moving 4 hours away. But dont worry, there's the phone, email, letters & weekend visits. Enjoy the break & regain your social life- guilt free!

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 3:26 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Honestly, I don't blame you for feeling burned out. Those are HER kids, not yours. And your role as a grandmother should be to have fun with them, and then hand them back... Not to basically raise them. Especially not when it sounds your daughter is just taking advantage of you, not because she has no other options.

    Answer by Anouck at 5:53 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I understand what you are saying. It is tough. But she is moving away so... It is bitter sweet.

    Answer by Hatsumomo at 2:47 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • You should be proud that you were able to assist her and the children. You won't regret it.

    Answer by tasches at 7:19 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • And now shes moving 4 hours away.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:50 PM on Mar. 15, 2011