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how do i deal with a 13 yr old girl who is curious about girls and being pursued by a 16 yr old who says she is lesbian WHAT DO I DO?????????????????

My 13 yr old daughter recently got a new friend, to my surprise she was a 16 yr old who says she is a lesbian. The 16 yr old is trying to pursuade my daughter to experiment with her. WHAT DO I DO??????

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Nov. 24, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (13)
  • I think 13 is a little too young for a free reign, maybe try restricting her, for example taking her places then picking her up after. In all honesty though if she wants to talk to this girl I don't think you can stop her and if she's curious then let her experiment, although I do think that 13 is a little too young as mentioned above. Maybe sit her down and talk to her about how it's okay to experiment but that she's only 13 and that is a little too young, maybe wait a few years? Good Luck with this.

    Answer by haleykarson at 11:26 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I would immediately stop allowing her to spend time with that 16 year old! The 16 year old sounds like a predator trying to talk a younger child into something she's not emotionally prepared to deal with! If she continued to pursue my daughter, I would bring charges against her! I have one question, how would you deal with a 16 year old BOY pursuing your 13 year old daughter? You should not handle it any differently just because it is a girl you are dealing with. She is still sexually pursuing an underage child!


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I don't think its as serious as the for - mentioned scenerio. But I would treat it just like it was a boy persuing my daughter...1st I would tell her she is too young to date. 2nd i would talk with her about sex and her feelings about this girl...openly without judgement.  Then I would take it from there....


    Answer by theQueenB at 11:51 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • 13 years and 16 years old is a big age difference.. not just by years, but by experience of age. I wouldn't allow them to be going out together without me. As far as the lesbian/ curiousty issue... That means she is showing signs of sexual activity, whether it be a boy or girl. If that is the case she needs to know that even if she gets with a girl, no she cant get pregnant, but YES she could get an STD.. And my personal opinion is 13 yrs. old is to young to be sexually active. She needs to be watched carefully for her protection.

    Answer by MKSers at 12:42 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I don't think it's a great idea, but I don't think it's so bad that I would press charges. I mean, for Pete's sake, they're kids! Here are a lot of better ways to deal with the situation. But hell, getting the law involved is what we Americans do best, right? Here's what I would do: First, talk to my daughter about sex, love, age, etc. Then ask to meet the girl. If the "persuasion" continues, talk to the girl's parents and let them know what's going on. I wouldn't say they can't be friends, but I would strictly limit their hang-out time to when I could be present and in the same room. Good luck!

    Answer by BabyCatchinMama at 12:50 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Change your question a little - what would you do if this was a new 16 year old friend who was a boy and was pressuring her to experiment? The age and experience level is too large, your daughter is too young. Yes, the risk of pregnancy isn't there but the risk of emotional damage is. Now is a good time to explain to your daughter that sometimes, people who are older or know a little bit more will try to take advantage of her. And tell her that this new "friend" is not a friend but a user who does not really care how much your daughter may be hurt. Tell her no.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 1:05 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • 13 is to young to do any experimenting! Think if it were a 16 year old boy, and he wanted to experiment. Would you throw a fit? I sure as hell would. It doesn't matter if the girl is gay or not. If she likes girls or not, it should still be treated like a normal boy girl relationship. And I agree that is a big age difference. This 16 year old (to me) sounds like she may be trying to take advantage of a younger girl, and still just because she is a girl, 16 may be the age for consent in most place but 13 is not. This 16 year old girl can get her self in alot of trouble and ruin her life over an indecent exposure charge.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • This is high school verses middle school. I would contact the 16 year olds parents and inform them of the problem and that she is to old to hang with your daughter. I would do the same if this was a boy. You really need to sit down and have a talk with your daughter and see if she is interested in girls. In middle school is when alot of issues start to surface for girls and boys. Now is the time to stay close with your daughter. I have a 15 year old daughter and I keep my eyes and ears constantly open. Good Luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • tell the other parent and call the cops. this could be dangerous cause it sounds like this girl is not respecting your daughter and might be confusing her. plus they are to young to be touching. so i would get the cops involved to prevent any hanky panky from occurring. that is what i would do. this 16 seems to have some problems if she interested in a 13 yr old.

    Answer by melody77 at 2:55 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Remind the 16 y/o that if she touches your child then it is molestation and she will end up on the Sex offender registry and call the cops. Tell your daughter it is ok to wonder but, the rules are the same with girls and boys 13 is too young.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 3:19 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

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