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If your ex has re married or has a new girlfriend

Do you like her? Do you guys get along, or do you not talk? My ex has met a new girl, and I am kind of offended, because she has not introduced herself to me. I think that is a little rude since she will be around my kids. What do you guys think? This is the first girl that my ex has been with since we have broken up so I don't really know how to feel about things. Does it get easier. Sorry if my post is all over the place. I am just a little thrown off by all of this.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:32 PM on Mar. 15, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (12)
  • I never felt that my ex's new girlfriend had to introduce herself. If she was someone who was going to stay around then I would get to know her eventually. As long as she treats the children good then that is all that matters. Don't start off being offended by something petty and good luck:)
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 7:37 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • The only time we've talked was the time I slapped her in her face for swapping spit with my ex right in front of my face. It does get easier, in time, at least it does for me because he isn't allowed around my children for making threats he's going to kill me, so therefore she isn't around them.
    knicole0708

    Answer by knicole0708 at 7:40 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I think it is your ex's responsibility to introduce her, not her introduce herself. Maybe she feels the same.
    2BlondeBabies

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 7:41 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I don't know OP, she may not have an interest, she may be uncomfy, it is hard to say. I can tell you, my parents have both been re married for about 8 and 9 years now. My mother has NEVER said one word to my father's wife, NOT ONE WORD. When they have been at my wedding or my children's birthday parties, they just do not communicate. Honestly it just WORKS for them, for my mom was VERY BITTER after the divorce. She talks to dad now, but just kind of pretends his wife doesn't exist.


    Have you tried asking your ex about it?

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:49 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I feel like it's my job to introduce myself to any of his girlfriends ( he has many). I always assume it's pretty uncomfortable for her, and if anything he should be the one doing the introducing......Keep in mind everything she has heard about you has been from him- it's probably not good.
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 9:01 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I got lucky my ex and I talked about a few things after we broke up and new SO is something we talked about and laid ground rules for. We both agreed that unless the new SO was the one or was someone that would be around even after a break up than they did not meet our kid. I asked him if he wanted to meet my husband when I first started realizing he was the one. I also ask him to meet any step mommy material. It is really on you and your ex to talk it out and let your new partners know how things work with you two and what their role will be. If that includes you meeting his new girlfriend than you need to ask him. She may not be coming up to you because she does not feel it is her place, or she may be worried about upsetting you.

    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 8:23 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • unless is someone thats is going to be around for a good time, your ex should introduce her to you and the kids. Specially if they are going to be around your kids
    RACINGMANIA

    Answer by RACINGMANIA at 9:50 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • He should introduce her, it's a little awkward on her part as well to be meeting her man's ex and really he should introduce you two. My exhusband was remarried for 6 years and is now redivorced and has a live-in girlfriend. Between marriages he had several girlfriends. I liked some, didn't like other so much, couldn't stand a couple of them. But as long as they were good to my son, it didn't matter one bit to me if I liked their personality or not. His exwife and I always got along ok, at many points much better than he and I got along, and over the years I grew to consider her a friend and we are still in touch and friendly even now that he is not with her any more. We get the kids together every few weeks (his dad moved out of state, so if my son is going to be in touch with his sisters, it's up to me and his exstepmom to do that). I like his new girlfriend fine, she's good to him and my son.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 11:10 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • My ex lives 3,000 miles away from me so I should never have to meet his g/f. She has 3 kids and he treats her children better than his own 3. He has made it clear that his g/f and her kids are more important to him and my kids see this. Unfortunately, my 15 yr. old son has been living with my ex for over a year now and my son does not like the g/f and he isn't too happy with her kids either. He was relieved and happy when her & her children moved out but that didn't last long and now he has to deal with them all the time. The g/f contatced me on here when I posted a journal about my ex. She thought for some reason she had the right to do that. I mentioned no names. I was frustrated because my ex kept giving me a hard time about paying his half of the medical bills for our kids yet he had money to go out all the time. She said he was responsible for 2 households now & I thought, honey you aren't his wife!
    sarchasmicangel

    Answer by sarchasmicangel at 2:43 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • (cont.) and those children are not his either. None of her ex hubands pay child support apparently. That isn't my problem though, it's hers. I didn't respond just e-mailed to my ex and told him to tell her to butt out and not to contact me again. This was all before my son moved there. He would never tell me anything about her either, which had me skeptical because he talked about the others he dated including the ones he had affairs with when we were married. When they were breaking up he did say she didn't meet his needs. She wasn't affectionate or loving with him and if he was sick she would never bring him medicine or anything if he needed it. When my son was in the hospital with MRSA and they thought he would have to have surgery, she went out and partied with her friends. My ex was pretty upset about that, but hey obviously he decided to stay with her. I personally think she is just using him because he pays the
    sarchasmicangel

    Answer by sarchasmicangel at 2:51 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

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