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I don't know what I am doing.

I feel like I have completely no idea what I am doing with my daughter. I feel like I am very consistent, I always explain why I am disciplining and that I have a lot of follow through. I can spew advice like the best of 'em and I can get anyone's child to obey me but my daughter.... she just doesn't do anything that I want her to. Her good days are awesome but her bad days I just want to curl up and die. Each day before nap we wash up, brush our teeth and d0 potty. Today she asked for her binky first and I said you can have it after you get ready for bed. Well she cried, slapped me, kicked me, writhed and screamed for a 1/2 hour. I finally calmed her down and wiped her hands and face with a wipey and gave her the binky. I don't know if that was the right thing to do or not. I just don't think i know how to be a good mom, just a good child care provider. How do you know if you are doing things right?

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maddismama

Asked by maddismama at 12:22 PM on Nov. 24, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (23)
  • I have no one to go to, and my husband is not helpful at all... just give it to her so she can calm down... is what he would say. I KNOW that wouldn't have been right but there are days I wonder if I am doing things right, I never feel like I am doing anything totally great... my house is never clean enough, I don't spend time with any friends, my daughter is so wonderful but such a monster sometimes and god my finances... let's not go there. I just need someone to tell me how they do it, balance life. I just don't think I am very good at it.
    maddismama

    Answer by maddismama at 12:26 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I mean seriously I need some support, some advice, some tips on making things work, anyone?
    maddismama

    Answer by maddismama at 12:31 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • OK so nobody has any advice or tips or anything?
    maddismama

    Answer by maddismama at 12:59 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Um..................................

    Dude, I got nothing.

    You sound like me, like everyone I know....that's just life. I think you need to relax a little and cut yourself some slack.

    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 1:01 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Except for the stuff about your husband.

    That's ridiculous.

    He needs to grow up and become a parent.
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 1:01 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • And the myth about a balanced life?

    It sells magazines and that's about it.

    But for real - your husband - not cool.
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 1:02 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Seriously, We probably all wish we could help you...but truthfully, we all go through the same thing everyday. I know I question myself everyday...keep your head up and from what it sounds like to me, your doing a great job!!!
    ljliammama

    Answer by ljliammama at 1:11 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • When your telling your daughter one thing and daddy's not backing you up, your daughter KNOWS daddy does not even agree with mommy. at 3 my daughter told me that daddy's the nurture and mommy is the torture. I was the SAHM dealing with everything daddy would come home delighted to see his daughters I felt like the nag. One day I told him how this made me feel, how important it is for him to back me up, when he sees a child not listening to me he needs to say LISTEN to your mother. TEAM WORK...we now have twin boys who are 4 and let me tell you, my husband is a different parent than with our now 18 &15 year old daughters. We are on the same page, and my boys know that they better not pull any crap with mommy because daddy will tell us to knock it off!! Good luck to you..
    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 1:13 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I have a neighbor who seems to have it right--her house is far on the list--the most important thing with her is spending the quality time with her children. If she is in the middle of folding laundry or doing dishes and they want to play she stops and does it--What she told me is that they will not remember is your house was clean or laundry was done, but they will remember that mom spent as much time with them as they wanted--I have adopted that philosophy and my life is happier.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 1:14 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • At least I am not alone. I just feel so lost some days. My husband will back me up sometimes but other times right in front of Maddi he will say, "Why can't she have that? I think you are being ridiculous." It is infuriating! I'm just glad a few of you answered and I know that Moms are on the same page as I am. I'm really hard on myself, I always want to be perfect.. perfect mom, wife, sister, friend, business woman (I own an in home child care center), house keeper, cook... blah, blah. Thanks.
    maddismama

    Answer by maddismama at 1:49 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

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