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My 8 yr old gets made fun of and hit by older kids. How can I stop this?

My son is a very sweet child and wants to be friends with everyone. He gets punched and called gay at school and on the bus. Even his "friends" around our house are mean to him and he just doesn't understand that that's not how friends are. I'm even afraid to throw him a birthday party because the past few years the kids he invites tell him they don't like him and won't go and he cries and asks why no one came. It breaks my heart that anyone would treat him badly.

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DevinSkye

Asked by DevinSkye at 10:08 PM on Mar. 15, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • I'd talk to the school about the school and bus situation. I'd find him some real friends to spend time with and learn what real ones are
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:12 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • Maybe get him involved in some non school related activities like T-ball or karate. That way he can meet people with a fresh start. I would make the school aware and threaten a lawsuit if they don't take measures to prevent the violence. They can't make the other kids like your son but he certainly still deserves to be treated with respect and not abused.

    kayslay

    Answer by kayslay at 10:17 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • We had him in t-ball and flag football and those boys were even worse in calling him names and not wanting to play with him. He is a very talkative and slightly loud at times child who just wants to be part of the group.
    DevinSkye

    Comment by DevinSkye (original poster) at 10:21 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • Oh my goodness. I am so sorry. I know this can be hard. My son was a bit over weight when he was little and he would get picked on quite a bit. It broke my heart because he was so awesome and if anyone would take the time to get to know him, they would know that. You can try to talk to the school but it may or may not work. I can tell you that I started taking my son to church and he met awesome kids that he is still friends with to this day. Church really was good for him. The youth minister was awesome and even talked to him about the other kids picking on him too. He is all grown up now and married and happy so it does get better. But I know how heart breaking this can be for you and child. Good luck Momma, I hope you find a way to help him.
    Peajewel

    Answer by Peajewel at 10:21 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • oh, i feel for you, that breaks me heart:(

    I would definately talk to the school about at school and on the bus. That is bullying, and needs to be stopped ASAP. Your child has the RIGHT to a safe education, free from abuse and harm. Demand that.

    At home, i would find some kids who are not bullies. If he has a freind or two from school, invite them over for some play times (one at a time so they can streghten the freindship), and let them chat on the phone a little maybe if the other parents are okay with that. And, i know this is hard, i've been there, but you need to teach your son to ignore some of it (they do it for a reaction) and stand up for himself if it continues. My son has a kind heart and gets bullied sometimes. I had to teach him how to get angry and be assertive. Not fun, but it worked and gave him some self confidence for when i wasn't around to help.
    boobarandbell

    Answer by boobarandbell at 10:22 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I agree with kayslay......cub scouts is a great organization for boys. You might be surprised at what you're able to find to get him involved with. Baseball, bowling, karate are also great ways to meet new people. If he has any special interests, you could probably find something in that field. I have 4 boys, my oldest was in baseball for a few years but now he's more into acting and jazz band. My middle 2 are HUGE football freaks. They have played pee wee football for 3 years now and my youngest is starting T-ball in a couple of week. Both football and baseball are not school related but all the team mates are also class mates......that may help him build real friendships by being outside the school setting.

    how_reb

    Answer by how_reb at 10:25 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • We have also tried church. Those kids were just as mean not only to him but to my youngest son as well. I tell my son how amazing he is and that he needs to stay away from the kids that pick on him but he wants so bad to be a part of the group that he puts up with it. It's not only kids that are hurting him. He recently met his real father and was so happy that he started off taking him camping and fishing. After a few weeks his father stopped coming over to see him and when he had plans to take our son for the night would invite his gf over instead. On top of my son crying that other kids don't like him I have to hear him cry as to why his father doesn't want him either.
    DevinSkye

    Comment by DevinSkye (original poster) at 10:27 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • my son also got involved in sports. most organizations have codes of conduct for players (and parents). look for the ones that have that and make sure it's enforced. maybe even talk to the coach the first day and tell them a little of why you're doing this. Most adults are there for the postive experience and will help a struggling child.

    Martial arts ae very good also for teaching self confidence, self esteem, and self control. That may make him feel more in control of how he reacts to others too. And if someone physically bullies, he can know how to protect or defend himself. You don't have to take a class if you can't afford, try picking up some books at the library for teaching martial arts to kids.

    good luck:)
    boobarandbell

    Answer by boobarandbell at 10:28 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • I just seen the t-ball and football reply. This may sound extreme but if things are really bad and he really has no friends, you could transfer him to a new school. When my oldest started school we had all kinds of problems with a bully....a freaken 5 year old bully at that. This boy would stab kids with unwound paper clips, hit them with books, claw them with his nails.....it was nuts! We tried everything we could through the school and the higher ups and it was never fully resolved so we open enrolled him into a different school district. It was the best thing we could have done and now all my kids go to the "new" school and have done very well. I have a niece and nephew that go in our district and it's amazing the difference in attitude.

    how_reb

    Answer by how_reb at 10:30 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

  • We've changed his school and it didn't help. I'm not sure what it is about my son that keeps people from seeing how amazing he is
    DevinSkye

    Comment by DevinSkye (original poster) at 10:34 PM on Mar. 15, 2011

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