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What to do with a child that says *&%$ you?

My 12 year old daughter has developed a potty mouth and a attitude problem. Last night for instance her dad told her to wash the dishes before watching TV as it was her turn, well her answer was %$#* off and she didn't do it. Then today I told her she had to come straight home after school because she has a lot of homework the next two days because of being off for the holidays, she got all angry at me and told me to go %$&* myself and she was going to do what she wanted and then slammed the door in my face. My dh and I never use foul language in our home so I don't know why all the sudden things are like this. There has also been no major changes at home or in her life? Is it just that age, and what should we do to curb it?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on Nov. 24, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (49)
  • Has she changed friendship groups recently? If so this could be what's causing the problem. It could also be the start of the teenage years, I remember being difficult myself at that age! Just make sure that you show her that it is not acceptable, take away her priveleges, such as computer or if she has a phone etc. Good Luck with this.

    Answer by haleykarson at 1:11 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • its the age. but there can be something else going on. take her out to eat or shoping something and see what is bothering her. at that age ppl can be really mean. expeally at school. seen that movie mean girls. its just like that. sometimes worst. just talk to her. i mean you do want her to come to you with problems right. so be open with her. if she don't want to talk don't push her. what me and my mom did was get a jornal i will write what is happing to me and she would write back. and if she says things say about boys/girls etc dont' judge it will only make matters worst. if your against dating and that is what it is about just tell her later on i will allow you to date i just think your too young. just don't say lock her up. IT WILL MAKE IT WORST/

    Answer by mama2twins07 at 1:12 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Um...ok...if this was me, frist she would get a foot n her behind, and had EVERYTHING TAKEN FROM HER, and DARE HER TO DO IT TO ME AGAIN...growing up we were to scared to cuss, none the less at our mother! Here's what you could do...
    First, dont let her walk away, dont let her speak. You state your ground. She will NOT disrespect you or your father by talking that way. I dont know if you spank, but I do and she would get one of those. At that age, you have to instill fear and respect in them, so if you have to turn into Shrek, then trun into Shrek, because that is craziness.


    Answer by YanniSmoMMy at 1:13 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Also, TAKE EVERY SINGLE THING OUT OF HER ROOM. No tv, no cell, no comp...just a bed and dresser, and take the door of the handles. She can earn them back. Disrepect and foul language is something that is not accepted in my house and is not taken lightly. You gotta step up and shw her who runs that house. Dont worry about her being upset or being to harsh. You are her gave her birth...she does not have ANY right to disrepect you or your husband. Good Luck sweetie!

    Answer by YanniSmoMMy at 1:13 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I'm not understanding why people are saying, she shouldn't be grounded or just talk to her. Aight, I get the talk to her, but why shouldn't some actions be taken...whether she has issues or not, that doesn't give that CHILD the right to cuss out her MOTHER AND FATHER. That chld KNOWS cussing is wrong, and is choosing to do it. I went through ALOT in my childhood (not by my parents, school stuff, boys, etc), BUT I NEVER DISRESPECTED MY PARENTS, being that THEY are the ones who gave me life, THEY are the ones who provided for me, so I WOULD NOT DARE COME AT THEM WRONG JUST BECAUSE I'M HAVING AN ISSUE. That to me in no excuse!

    Answer by YanniSmoMMy at 1:17 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • GET out the soap lol... they pick this crap up from school peers at this age they come in contact w/ alot of stuff boys(sex) crusing to act more like there friends, drinking an drugs things come at them faster than it did for us thats why we always have to show extra love and more attetion at this age that does'nt mean lots of gifts just spend more time w/ her plan a trip for spring break that helped me and my daughter...just ask about her friends an who she hangs w/ during the day.eventully you'll break though this problem...keep the faith..

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I came and talked to my mother when I had a problem, even if it was something with them, BUT i knew how to do it respectfully and without CUSSING AND HAVING A HISSY FIT, because my mother wouldn't accept what I was saying is I was yelling, and then wouldn't let me yell...

    ok, i'm done...had to original poster...there may be some issues, but sweetie you know as well as i do that that doesn't give YOUR CHILD the right to walk around cussing and not listening. You want her to learn to respect YOU, YOUR HUSBAND, and people in general. Not walking JUSTIFIYING her RIDICULUS ACTIONS (cussing and disrespecting) just because she had a bad day. Once again, Good Luck sweetie, and you can IM me, if you want to talk

    Answer by YanniSmoMMy at 1:21 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • no one said do not punish... just how to get thew to her

    Answer by mama2twins07 at 1:21 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • First, take her door off the more slamming the door in your face. Second, if she's going to have a mouth like an adult then let her be one at home such as....let her do her own laundry, let her fix her own meals, don't offer to take her can make it hard enough on her that she will break that crap. If she gets all pissy and asks why you won't do things for her tell her, "You don't have too", just like she told you. Sometimes a dose of their own medicine works wonders. My oldest who is now 18yrs old back talked me ONE time when he was 15yrs old and my natural reflex was to smack him in the worked. He thought twice before speaking from there on out. He never backed talked me again.

    Answer by Southerncharmes at 1:22 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • for instance her dad told her to wash the dishes before watching TV as it was her turn, well her answer was %$#* off and she didn't do it

    Sorry, WRONG answer. You do the dishes. You do the dishes until they are done.

    Why shouldn't she do whatever she wants since there are no consequences? Sounds like liberty hall!


    Answer by Wimsey at 1:24 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

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