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2 Bumps

What would u do in this situation?? adult content

This question is on a delicate matter. I don't want u all to jump down my throat and be choking on your moral outrage with the possibility of bashing me. If u don't have any "helpful advice" Please refain from commenting. Well, with that being said, I have a bff that is pregnant with her 1st baby. The other day she called me crying so hard she couldn't talk straight. She just her 1st ultra-sound and the doc noticed something abnormal. She went back in and her doc told her she had baby that has a very rare condition and is always fatal for the baby. Apparently the baby's lack brain growth and the lack of skull is showing and for some reason some reason didn't form and its called " Anencephaly" always fatal for the infant and sometimes the mom also. I guess if my bff was able to carry full term, the baby may survive just mintutes after the birth, but thats it. Her doc told her she needed to abort the baby cause of the possibilty of her getting sepsis.
Her own mother told her if she gets the abortion, she will be disowned and will not be able to come back to the home. I was absolutely livid!!!!! I can't believe her mom would be willing to have her daughter die because her "religion" forbids abortions. What kind of mom will let her own daughter die just because her religion says so? Its going to be lonely time when mom day comes around.

 
Michigan-Mom74

Asked by Michigan-Mom74 at 3:24 AM on Mar. 16, 2011 in Health

Level 34 (66,351 Credits)
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Answers (15)
  • If it were me, i would straight up lie to my mother & say the baby lost his heart beat & i had to have a DNC.

    Something very similar happened to me & i was also ordered to abort, My DH was so scared for my life, there was no chance he would allow me to carry to full term. I already have a DD, so i was not about to put my life at risk. many people were being assholes about it & telling me how selfish i was to sacrifice the baby's life for my own. Fuck them, it was none of their business.

    I ended up telling everyone that the baby died in my tummy & that i had a DNC. The judgment coming from everyone was so gross & disgusting, that i could not be honest about it. Not only was i miserably depressed about it, but here are all these fucking people telling me how much of a jerk i am for wanting to save myself. That is why i lied, but it worked like a charm. instead of people hating me, they sent me gifts & sympathy cards.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:23 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I suggest you go to this blog and read http://babyfaithhope.blogspot.com. As long as the baby is alive the mother is in no danger, if the baby dies in utero then sepsis could occur if labor doesnt start. This is usually fatal to the baby, but as Faith shows here, not always. Have her mother contact Faith's mom, there is a link on her page. If she chooses to abort, that is her personal choice and having a friend to stand by her will be wonderful. It is a hard decision to make. I wish you and her the best
    shivasgirl

    Answer by shivasgirl at 3:32 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • if it were me I would take my mother to the doctor with me so the doctor could explain what is going on and why this is in my best interest.  If my mother is still telling me she will disown me then I might even consider going to the priest at her church and have them talk to her.  If nothing works, then yes this is very sad.  No mother should disown her child because of something like this.  Her daughter needs her more now than ever.


    Good Luck to your friend.

    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 3:34 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • It's good this girl has a concerned friend in you. The mother is being awful. I don't agree with abortions, as a rule, but this would be a desparately heartbreaking situation, whatever she decides. God will understand, whatever she choses to do.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 3:37 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Oh, your question was "what would I do?" I honestly don't think I could bring myself to have an abortion - doctors can be wrong in their prognosis - but I would CERTAINLY not condemn the mother if she chose to have one.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 3:38 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • It is her decision. A very hard decision.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 3:40 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I knew someone who was about to have a grand baby a few years back. The doctor had scared them and said there was a major malformation with the baby's mouth and the baby was going to need a series of major surgeries. At birth, they had the surgeons ready for the first operation as soon as the baby came out. The whole family lost a lot of sleep because of that, and the parents to be were so scared and devasted. The baby came out and was absolutely perfect! With that said, technology is so advanced these days, and doctors are not always wrong. If it is the case, and given the risk, it should be totally up to her, not her mother, not religion. My belief in abortion is that I'm against abortion, except for certain cases, like a case of life and death, and a case of rape, then I believe the woman should have the right to make that decision without anyone passing judgement. her mom shou;d support her decision.
    joanie70

    Answer by joanie70 at 4:38 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • im so sorry your friend has to go through this. Since her life is at stake she has to do the best thing for herself. As long as she has support from friends like you she can get through this. hopefully her mom will come around to see the importance
    minki111

    Answer by minki111 at 4:39 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Unfortunately, anencephaly is a condition in which a fetus forms with a partially formed brain and spinal cord. A child with this condition is stillborn or dies shortly after birth. The doc can't do anything. I saw the ultra sound myself when I went with her back to her OB. They also had a 3-D pic,and u can see with 100% certainty the baby has this deformation, and it is fatal 100% of the time. If the baby dies inside her she wouldn't know and thats where she can devolpe sepsis. She has prayed so very hard all day long, she dreams, she begs, she bargins, with God to no avail. People tell me that God loves everyone,God is kind.,God is strong. So why in the hell is he letting this thing to my bff? She would have been such a wonderful mom. Her child wouldn't be know anything else except unconditional love. God didn't help me either.despite how many times I prayed that he would spare my mom.>>>>
    Michigan-Mom74

    Comment by Michigan-Mom74 (original poster) at 6:20 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • She was entirely to young to die, she was 57 yrs old and she passed away last october. I asked toGod for help, or give me strengh to help me threw this. He see to ignore me too. So I do not mean to offend anybody, but it seems every time I put faith in someone or something, it lets me down.
    Michigan-Mom74

    Comment by Michigan-Mom74 (original poster) at 6:27 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

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