Ok, so for anyone who responded to my initial question yesterday, I sat my bf down and voiced a few of my concerns to him. Here's how it went......I started off with the sleeping situation and told him, that I am sure he noticed I do not sleep at all when his daughter is here because he allows her to sleep in the middle of us in our bed. And of course he started getting mad and defensive. In the end the only thing I could get him to "unwillingly" agree on was that he was going to try and sleep in the middle for now until he was ready to put her in her own room and bed. He was reluctant on this at first because he said when he's in the middle he does not sleep for fear she will fall off her side of the bed. (side note, we did sleep this way several times in the beginning of our relationship, when I was spending the night and she was there too and it seemed to be fine, then all of the sudden he changed it).....anyways he very reluctantly agreed to try this. Mind you earlier in the day I did manage to talk to his mother and ask her, her advice on how to deal with this and she had said she knew his daughter had mentioned she wanted to sleep in her own room with her own bed and TV, and that she would help facilitate that idea by telling her to tell her Dad.
I'm still at a loss though, why the hell is he so adamant on her sleeping in our bed? He would not even listen to her going to her own room. I don't get it? I hate griping about him because he is a good man to me and a great father but this way he is refusing to even consider putting her in her room, is really baffling.
I also mentioned his difference in attitude when she visits and he claimed it was a coincidence that his bad mood was coinciding with her being there and that he would make an effort to act better.
So now what? I love this man and I do not know how much more coaxing one can do to get him to see he needs to make some concessions. He plays the tit-for-tat game when I start asking him these things, by saying I am easy with my kids (which I am, but they are way older and not in a young learning stage as his daughter is)...so every time I mention something about her, he throws it back in my face that I am easy with my kids and how is that any different than him letting his daughter have her way all the time.
So I am at a stalemate........anymore help or comments, I'd really like to feel better about this because I do love him and would never consider leaving over things like this, I just thought in time, things might even out and adjustments would happen but it seems when it comes to his daughter, its going to always be her way and thats it!!!
Answer by elizabr at 8:06 AM on Mar. 16, 2011
Answer by gemgem at 8:21 AM on Mar. 16, 2011
Answer by wendythewriter at 8:45 AM on Mar. 16, 2011
Answer by samurai_chica at 8:46 AM on Mar. 16, 2011
Answer by Shy_Dia at 12:21 PM on Mar. 16, 2011
Answer by Arretsmomma5 at 6:04 PM on Mar. 16, 2011