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3 Bumps

Do you have one of these friends??

alright ladies time for alittle venting....

i have a friend that i have been friends with for over 7yrs and i love her too death she is really a true friend....however there are alot of times i want to go do something like hang out or go shopping...you know some girls time out but ummmm she always broke..i know what you thinking...yes she does have a pretty good job, she does has a son but he stays back in jamaica with her parents, and she only has a bf. we are not doing anything expensive i think she is just frugal or something...so it can kinda put a damper on the friendship because yes i have paid her way many of times for many different things...pedi/mani, eating, coffee and etc. no, i don't feel like she is using me in any way. but it does cause me to not want to hang around her as much because you can only do so much free stuff in these days.....am i been to hard on her or expecting too much. i have tried to talk to her about this before ...you don't think this is grounds to end a friendship do you? because it is hard to find good friends...what would you do?

 
mztxdelta

Asked by mztxdelta at 10:21 AM on Mar. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,559 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • i wouldn't end the friendship, but i wouldn't be paying for her way all the time, either. if she never pays her way, or always has an excuse (until you offer to pay...hinthint!), she is using you. she may be a nice person, but maybe she's gotten used to getting stuff from you.
    if and when she's ready to do her part, tow her own load, she'll call you or accept an invite.
    but i'd cut the cash now. that's probably causing you to harbor ill feelings, although you don't want to admit it. i know..i had a friend like that, and i really liked her. but come on..she afforded things she wanted to afford, and i was no fool.
    you aren't either.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 10:26 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Do free things with her, park, picnic, girly movies popcorn and drinks, so you can catch up. If you can't enjoy free time together then maybe she is not a real friend.

    Leave the pedi's and everything else to a friend that can keep up with you, because in the mean time you are spending and she is saving. So who is in the winners table - I am not being mean or anything. Just honest. She might just be frugal but your paying for it.

    You can't always treat her, it is very sweet of you but she has to understand too. If she is a real friend she is not going anywhere and would love to watch girly movies at home, munch and just chat.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:27 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • If I had a friend willing to dump me over the fact I can't afford to do some of the things she liked. I would drop her like a bad habit.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I wouldnt drop anyone for that. I have both been that friend and had friends like that. I paid for my best friends dd to go into cheer with my dd because it was the right thing to do. I have also had friends pay for things for me because I was broke myself. Without knowing someones financial situation its hard to imagine dumping a friend bc of it. Maybe she doesnt want to tell you she has credit card debt shes paying, student loans, or whatever. That could be why shes frugal.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:27 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I wouldn't dump her as a friend, but I would stop paying for everything. I am one of those friends that if I have to spend money I tend not to go do things, but I will not let friends pay my way and if I do, I pay next time. I agree with KFree... it's fun to sit at home and watch movies, or just chat with munchies...it makes you closer too. Good Luck.
    kitchenwitch78

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 10:29 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • If she is really a true friend as you say you do not want to drop her over this. Try doing things she can afford. Good friends are worth the effort. I would stop paying for things too.
    tiddliwinks

    Answer by tiddliwinks at 10:30 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I had a friend like that. She worked and I was a sahm and she expected free drinks just because she was divorced and had three kids. I was ok with it at first but then i noticed she kept asking me to go out so I could buy her drinks and have her vent about her boy toys. I was done with it and I miss her jokes and laughs but not at my expense! Just remember you don't have S-U-C-K-E-R printed across your forehead.
    mamacita69930

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 10:31 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I'm that friend who is always broke but I never in a zillion years would expect my friend to pay for me. I would have way too much guilt. I think outside the box and do things and go places that don't involve money or maybe not so much of it. I have a friend who goes window shopping with me, we visit museums on their special priced days, we walk along the paths at either parks or nearby neighborhoods, get together at the farmer's market and do some grocery shopping. I plan things frugally and we have a blast because we're together.
    Philly247

    Answer by Philly247 at 10:37 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • all these vote downs for good advice.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • money is always a problem with friendship when there is a big difference. Maybe she's sending her money back to her family?
    Offer to pay for what you are willing to pay for, and continue to go out and meet new people. She probably was never intended to be your best friend forever. GL
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 10:51 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

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