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Reasons & Excuses

Is there a difference between these two things or are they both equal to the same thing?

Do you get upset when your SO tries to give you a reason/excuse when something doesn't get done or they are late? Do they get upset with you when you do that?

Or, do you and your SO feel that there is no need for a reason/excuse and to just apologize and move on?

Answer Question
 
crkirby

Asked by crkirby at 2:15 PM on Nov. 24, 2008 in Relationships

Level 4 (35 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • well i think there is a difference 2 me a reason is exceptable like if you sick or have something 2 do! and an excuse is they r always telling u the same story when u ask them 2 do something for u
    butterscotch297

    Answer by butterscotch297 at 2:18 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • If someone is going to be late we try and call before we are late because with cell phones there is no reason not to. But usually if its something small we just move on. We agree that reasons and excuses are usually covereups because you hurt someone or made someone mad and we try not to do that in the first place.

    Frogger33

    Answer by Frogger33 at 2:20 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • There can be legitimate reasons for something not getting done such as working late, not feeling well, etc. There are also empty excuses such as I forgot. If you get an "I forgot" then chances are you are going to keep getting it. The one thing I do not tolerate is blaming someone else for things that didn't get done like saying the kids were acting up or someone made me so mad I forgot. The rest of it I will blow off because I know I'm not perfect and I forget things too but you will never find me blaming someone else for my own mistakes and I don't let anyone else get away with it either.
    sillyt

    Answer by sillyt at 2:30 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • it really depends... rationalizing is giving an excuse and trying to make it sound like a reason... my hubby will do this when he knows he messed up or not sure what to do next - it's a defense mechanism. keep in mind if your goal is to let him know it's not acceptable under any circumstances and you want him to hear your feelings instead of you hearing excuses why you have been let down again, that you're not interested in the reason you want it to be fixed. sometimes it is necessary to have a discussion about these things in order for your expectations to be adjusted if they are unreasonable or if his are different than yours. sometimes it's necessary to talk it through for preventive purposes to make clear on how to handle things in the future. but if you're just getting the same i'm sorry but the dog ate my homework, you're being taken for a fool.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 2:31 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • We never get mad at each other over minor things and we dont apologize because there isnt anything to apologize for. Sometimes things happen that prevent someone from getting something done the way we had planned it out. Now if it was consistant then again i just wouldnt give my dh that responsiblity anymore (like pay a bill, pick up kids etc). Some things just arent worth stressing about.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:31 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • i get upset if it's been like a week and have asked him over and over. then he will do it and then say sorry. i think it's normal for them to get lazy but heck i get lazy too so i don't hold anything against him.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 2:49 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • depends. like if DH forgot to do something major, then i'd be mad at him for a while. but if it's something minor, like telling me he'll be home at a certain time, and is an hour or 2 late, i'll be upset, but he normally just apologizes and we're over it.
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 3:56 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

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