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3 Bumps

Have you ever found out a good friend from your childhood (that you lost touch with) died as an adult?

I did, several months ago..but lately, it's been really getting to me - especially since I had a dream about her where I was talking to her about her death. I just feel like like there's something unfinished, like I need closure..which doesn't make sense to me, but that's just what keeps nagging at me. We lost touch in 2000, and she died in 2006, shortly after turning 18. I found out from her brother, whom I contacted on Facebook when I was on there. I found the obituary and even a photo of her and her daughter's headstones (they died together in a car accident, her husband lost them tragedy) online..but I feel like I need to go talk to her grave. I just don't get why it's been bothering me so much lately when I've known for so long. /vent over, carry on. heh.


Asked by -AJ at 11:06 AM on Mar. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Level 32 (52,824 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You're feeling guilty because you lost contact with her. I've been there. If you can find a few minutes alone, set up a candle, darken the room (or soft light) and sit quietly for a few minutes looking at the candle. Either talk to her, or just send her your thoughts. Tell her everything you're feeling. Talk AT the candle. When you are done, thank air and fire (the candle flame and the air that carries the smoke) for taking your message to her. Relax a minute before you put out the candle. Guaranteed to make you feel at least a little better.

    Answer by Kimimale at 11:10 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Yes, 2 months ago. he was a childhood friend & we lost contact after high school. I moved down here to GA & he stayed in MA for a while. Well, i get an email saying that he is dying of brain cancer & that he actually moved to GA a few years ago! I had no idea that he lived right down the road! he died right before i could see him, i was devastated.....i just could not believe he was down the street from me & neither of us knew about it....i could have seen him 1 last time.....

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:13 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • My first boyfriend died recently from drugs, I haven't talked to him in almost 6 years, until he friended me on FB. He commented on one of my photo albums and then died about a week later. His cousin is my best friend from childhood and we still stay in touch, she called me and told me.

    Answer by HKing01 at 11:14 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I know it's not the same thing but my grandfather died last year from complications due to Alzheimer's disease. He had just started to have symptoms right before DH got a job in another state. We were unable to visit much, thanks to the recession we were struggling just to stay afloat and not have to move in with relatives, and barely saw him as the disease took it's toll. In a way, it was like he slipped away between us moving and our too few visits. He was not the same person anymore. Days before we were going to visit, he died. I felt horrible and couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to do something. When we went to his funeral, ironically the day we were suppsed to be visiting, I stood by his casket in the cemetary and told him how much I loved him, appreciated him and missed him. That is what you need to do. Visit her, light a candle or just talk to her. She'll hear your words.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I lost two childhood friends; one was while we were still in our childhood and the other died several years ago - about 5 years after the last time we spoke. Even in 7th grade a lot of my friends were guys, and this one boy I was friend's with killed himself during winter break - no one knew what he was going through or had a single thought that he was suicidal, even his best friend or his brother knew until the day they found him. Another guy I knew since elementary school, I graduated high school when I was 16 and moved to another part of the state and went to college and just lost touch with him. Almost 6 years later he was shot to death; I found out about it only last year, he'd been dead for nearly two years when I found out. My best friend and I were hanging out and started talking about the boys we dated in school and she had dated him back in middle school and that's when she told me, she thought I already knew.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 AM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • That's sad :( I live so far away from where I grew up and have lost touch with all my old friends. I wouldn't know how they are.

    Answer by Kathy675 at 12:42 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • i'm so sorry aj that is so sad!!

    Answer by Ericaca at 12:46 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • I'm so sorry, ladies..*big hugs* and thank you Kimimale. I will try that.

    Comment by -AJ (original poster) at 11:21 AM on Mar. 16, 2011